Time: 11pm, Thursday night
Place: KFC Swefieh
Imagine the place packed, and I mean packed. Seven cars in the drive-thru and a valet double parking the cars in the lot. At the counter a crowd of people have gathered and my friend and I are wondering where the heck we’re going to sit.
As I order my Zinger Supreme a voice rises above the noise and a curse word rings through the place. An exchange is taking place; a transaction, if you will, between a 20 something year old and an employee from behind the counter. And as if the words weren’t overreaching enough, the leather clad customer decides to stretch his arm out and attempt to grab the red uniformed employee to, you know, make him ‘take it back’. The employee weaves his left shoulder back to avoid the jab and retaliates by snapping his crispy chicken metallic thongs at the customer, missing his cheek.
At this point, children are crying and the employees have abandoned their posts, holding their fellow man back from a counter fight and into the kitchen while the customer circles like a vulture, searching for access. Meanwhile the manager facing all out Thursday night chaos, holds back the customer trying to get him to calm down. But this is one of those guys who wears a leather jacket, tight jeans, hasn’t shaven for awhile and sucks back hard on a cigarette held sharply between his outstretched index and middle finger, like a victory sign.
He’s taken outside but through the window we see him promising retribution: he wants the employee to come outside so that he can, well, do inappropriate metaphorical things to one of the guy’s female family members.
Meanwhile, the distracted employee currently semi-serving me has unknowingly dumped a plate of fries on my tray but neglected to give my friend his promised value meal bbq and cheese sauce to accompany his now lonely chicken tenders.
People have begun to leave so finding a seat is no problem. Luckily I get a great view of the ongoing action as the fighting man is brought back inside and seated a few seats away where him and his gang are contemplating their next move. The manager brings the thong snapping employee to “sort things out” but after 30 seconds the manager is covering the guy’s mouth up and the tension rises again.
As we eat our food we are subject to the best of local Jordanian entertainment, a healthier alternative to the semi-nude Arab singers on the flat screens everywhere.
Random bystanders come and go, trying to negotiate a truce.
The employee is brought out every now and then to talk things out but nothing seems to do the trick.
Suffice to say the customer in the end got a free meal for him and his friends.
Several lessons can be concluded from this event.
First: chicken is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems
Second: threatening profanity is a great way to get a free meal.
Third: the customer is never ever right in Jordan.
Fourth: I should always, always, bring a camera when I go to KFC
i’m in a bad mood, but seriously this post changed that. i like your sarcastic tone too. drama
Man that is so entertaining
How come I never see fights in Amman (i don’t think it is that peaceful in Amman). I really really don’t! I waited all summer last year to witness a TOSHE but never! did not happen once anywhere in my presence. 3njad next time take a video camera with you and document it.
“He’s taken outside but through the window we see him promising retribution: he wants the employee to come outside so that he can, well, do inappropriate metaphorical things to one of the guy’s female family members.”
well described with no profanity. Two thumps up for the style of writing.
you are really good
Lubna: glad it cheered you up 🙂
Dana: fights are actually rare nowadays, maybe its a new generation. most scenarios run along the lines of the one i described above. a lot of tension, a lot of chest puffing, but rarely are punches thrown.
thanks for the thumbs up 🙂
“As we eat our food we are subject to the best of local Jordanian entertainment, a healthier alternative to the semi-nude Arab singers on the flat screens everywhere.”
you made my Friday evening. Thank you.
Some customer are always wrong,and 7ameer kaman.
That was awesome 🙂 I love the Jordanian social drama … it’s the best in the world!
AAA7′ ya zalameh, you reminded me of amman and dwaween amman, but anyway kef el znger kan:)
“do inappropriate metaphorical things to one of the guy’s female family members” the funny thing is that those people are extremely professional, super innovative and creative in forming the sentences that will get his message delivered.
4. Always make a big scene and fight with the cashier to get free meals!
Lol, good job describing all these details, nicely done.
In Ramadan it’s even worse, just go to UofJ main gates during the rush hour and enjoy a tosheh every 50 m (usually bus drivers and bystanders who are going nuts for not having their hourly injection of nicotine)
and u guys were eating and not trying to end the problem.. very negative! u should have been in the middle of the fight getting ur share of of jordanian physical manifestation!
Oula: It was the kind of dinner entertainment that you’d like to watch, like a movie, rather than participate in, like a magic show. 😀
lovely narration! and the conclusion was fab! lol da77aktni 3a hal masa 😀
and on a silly note, i used to work with someone who was so cheap he wud take a bug with him to lunches/dinners so he wud threaten to sue the place for violating health codes and then end up eating for free! one word: pathetic!
VA: “i used to”, glad to hear that’s in the past tense! 😀