Revenge Of The Blog

Last night Ahmad calls at 10pm to remind me to wear a suit. “Something imrettib, mashi?”, he says over a shaky phone connection.

Mashi.

Sick as a rabid dog I get a suit out. Iron my shirt. Shave. Put on my lucky watch. Spray some Dolce & Gabbana across the neck. And dare I say it, I even used lotion to moisturize my hands. In my pockets I pack a roll of Kleenex, Halls and some Asprin. Yes, I even gelled up my hair for once. This is after all a special occasion, Zaid has just graduated with a degree in mechtronics (which involves electricity apparently) and this is his night.

My shoes are shined.

Outside: Hell has frozen over and its weather has broken the surface here in Amman. It’s pouring rain and it’s freezing cold. The frigid air hurls my lungs into a chorus of coughs.

So they all come by in the car and honk the horn and I run outside to discover that Ahmad had pulled a prank on everyone about wearing suits, told them that it was a prank, but evidently forgot to let me in on the loop.

I race back inside through the rain to change quickly.

Embarrassing, yes.

Back in the car I warned him that I was plotting my revenge. He and everyone else laughed it off.

But then at the restaurant he remembered that I have a blog and that I had come armed with a digital camera for the occasion.

And during a moment of silence where I had dazed off for a bit Ahmad suddenly exclaims:

“Oh my God, Naseem is thinking about blogging this!”

It was in that moment that I had the answer for the question I’m often asked here “what use is a blog?”

One word:

Revenge.

(Of course I’m not planning on releasing embarrassing pictures of Ahmad over the Internet, nor his full name, telephone number, or national ID number. You see the beauty of it is that simply threatening to use your blog as a weapon can really go a long way. Holding this over his head for the longest time possible is going to be very, very, fun. (for me))

(Insert Evil laugh)

(Insert Darth Vader theme music)