Top Ten Ways to Make the World Cup More Exciting

10. Instead of players trading shirts after the game, swap wives.

9. Replace sideline Gatorade with vodka and tonic

8. Monkey referees

7. New slogan: “At least it’s not hockey!”

6. No pants, more balls!

5. With hidden landmines, “sudden death” is no longer just in overtime

4. Oh, I don’t know, maybe have some games where the score is not zero to zero?

3. You win a game, Angelina adopts a baby from your country

2. Give Dick Cheney some beer, a shotgun, and put him in at goalkeeper

1. 11 players, 10 uniforms

[Late Show Top Ten]


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