How does one go about making the front page of the websites of major Internet news sources such as the BBC, CNN, MSNBC and Al-Jazeera when they die? Is there someone I have to call?
I wonder how does one go about prioritizing who gets the #1 headliner spot? Is it based on the most amount of people dead? Or most important death? I know if I die today I won’t be seeing my face on the BBC or CNN website (for other than the obvious reasons of me being dead). But if I were important enough then maybe I could get the spot.
So I either have to be very important in this world or I have to die with at least a dozen people in some horrific tragedy such as a tsunami, a suicide bombing a genocide et cetera.
Is Sharon on the front page because he is important? And in what sense? His political position in Israel? The ruler of Dubai died yesterday and I didn’t see him getting the #1 spot so that can’t be it can it? Is it your history? Do you have to be notorious enough, have a past that is dark enough? Well Sharon does top the cream of the crop there.
This post isn’t really about Sharon, as the man will probably be dead by the time I post this anyways. This is about how the media ranks the most pressing news. Tragedies always dominate the number one spot it seems. Human beings love their tragedies and in a year of hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis we’ve had our full serving. We love to watch people suffer but in a secretive way I suppose, sort of like a bad car crash happening in front of us but we can’t stand to look away. Boy burnt to a crisp in a house fire will always trump senile old man and his natural causes. The worse the better.
But who are we to judge? Heck, it’s the media which tells us what’s important. We don’t even get to pick and choose. Why? Because we are deemed incompetent. Look at Yahoo Popular news, news that is based on what readers think is “important” by ranking and emailing popularity. “The Most Emailed Photos” always have a sexy babe or cute animals and you can guess pretty much the genders of those who sent those emails. The Most Emailed news is always about the wackiest things happening around the world like the discovery of a two headed snake or Lindsey Lohan on drugs.
Anyways, I’ve made a resolution (#89): when I die I want to have the #1 headliner spot on all the major news sources websites. And hours before I die I want my health status to be updated every 5 minutes on all the news channels around the world. Not 10 minutes…5 minutes.
Now all I have to do is help commit at least one major massacre, or die in one.
Jordanian Newspaper Al Ghad did manage to prioritize today’s tragedies at least to my liking so kudos to them. Although I expect they will be reciving more than the usual amount of “big brother” calls today to chastise them on this decision. How dare they snub our “partners in peace”?!