OBITUARY: Common Sense Died 24/7/365 in North America’s Heart, USAToday we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend bythe name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain,why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’talways fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parentingstrategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when wellintentioned, but overbearing, regulations were setin place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and ateacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools were required toget parental consent to administer aspirin to astudent; however they could not inform the parentswhen a student became pregnant and wanted to have anabortion.
Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the TenCommandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a bit in her lap, claimed McDonalds did not warn her and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived, however, by two stepchildrem; U.A. Victim and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.