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7 thoughts on “A Thousand Fibers Connect Us

  1. I think you’re vastly over-intellectualizing this issue.

    I see people meeting, greeting, hugging and kissing all over the place — sometimes so taken by it they have no problem doing so in the street. Sometimes it’s overdone, but they’re still putting the effort in. And nine-times-outta-ten (talk about 78% of statistics being completely made up), I bet they *do* want to see him. I don’t always want to see people though, but that’s typically my problem: I just can’t be bothered.

    Facebook is an exception to normal social etiquette for all the wrong reasons: it’s an exercise in narcissism, it’s not just flattering someone for no reason: it’s flattering them to make it acceptable for people to flatter *you*. It’s a hollow figure of normal human social interaction. People don’t act like they do on Facebook because it’s asinine.

    Accepting “friends” on Facebook costs nothing: a couple of clicks, but reaps rewards: “Oh, you have 87 friends? I have 105.” Massaging our own egos, being “popular” is cool. Having a friend in real life can be hard work: you have to go out of your way to help them (pick them up from the airport), listen to their problems (the same ones, again and again and again…). Facebook “friends” carry no such baggage.

    Social etiquette is good for society — it’s generally not too restrictive, but instead a useful barrier between us: hearing what people REALLY think all the time would lead to a lot more murders-of-passion. And “being honest” and “brave” online to say what you want to has negative consequences: do you read the comments on Digg much?

    Staying on the subject of social manners: egaling tales of your sexual exploits is not something people want to hear, however your close friends might just (in the West anyway); having a problem with your bowels is gross to many, but of great interest to say, your mother. Social barriers help us judge this, effectively “who wants to know what”.

    People are connected, we’re just not connected to everyone in an intimate way: we live in a city of millions of people, it’s impossible to care about everyone in any meaningful way. I don’t care about the thousands of people I pass when walking down the street on a deep level, however I am bound to them by our fundamental shared humanity: if I see him get hit by a bus, I’ll call an ambulance — but I do not want to hear about the troubles he’s having with his wife, or the fact that he thinks one of his kid’s teachers is attractive.

    In no reality — in a bustling city or a tightly knit village — would I care about his problems. That’s not negative, it’s only human. If we cared for everyone on an individual and personal level, we’d never stop crying: thinking about Darfur, Palestine some other hell-hole would have us paralyzed in tears.

    This little blue marble may not be ideal, but it’s not that bad either.

  2. publicfacing: thanks for the comment and i appreciate your opinion on the subject as it’s quite interesting. however, just to clarify, i am not referring to a level of honesty that is based on destroying privacy, i am merely looking at the way human beings connect with one another or don’t for that matter. it’s not as simple as what we choose to say or not, or even who we choose to connect with, but also, more specifically, why don’t choose to connect with all, or at least indulge in that human experience that is not bound by walls and barriers of isolation.

  3. Your post reminds me of the HU campaign for Dow, particularly this one:

    For each of us
    There is a moment of discovery
    We turn a page
    We raise a hand
    And just then in the flash of a synapse
    We learn that life is elemental
    And this knowledge changes everything
    We look around and see the grandness of the scheme
    Sodium bonding with chlorine
    Carbon bonding with oxygen
    Hydrogen bonding with oxygen
    We see all things are connected
    We see life unfold
    And in the dazzling brilliance of this knowledge
    We may overlook the element not listed on the chart
    Its importance so obvious its presence is simply understood
    The missing element is the human element
    And when we add it to the equation
    The chemistry changes
    Every reaction is different
    Potassium looks to bond with potential
    Metals behave with hardened resolve
    And hydrogen and oxygen form desire
    The human element is the element of change
    It gives us our footing to stand fearlessly and face the future
    It is a way of seeing, it gives us a way of touching
    Issues, ambitions, lives
    The human element
    Nothing is more fundamental
    Nothing more elemental

  4. I was recently given the link to your blog and have enjoyed it tremendously this past month.

    I graduated university in the States last year and have been living here for about 7 months, your post rings true true on a number of levels for me.

    When i worked in DC I used ride public transportation everyday and would talk to people all the time, it was amazing the deep conversations we would get into upon first meeting, I would smile at the constructions workers and have daily conversation with the mad who handed out the newspapers. These small interactions were some of the things I missed the most in coming to Amman.

    However, I am slowly finding that people are people everywhere, sure I may not smile at all the construction workers who throw derogatory comments at me, but I find when I meet the eyes of women I pass on the street and genuinely smile, or strike up a conversation about something, they stop a moment, then genuinely smile or respond. In those moments I have acknowledged their existence, and more importantly the beauty of our existence together in this world.

    Maybe the people on the street and the beauty all around is waiting for your acknowledgment, for you to take the first step. People respond to genuinity more than we anticipate and all have the ability to sense that while someone may be out of the social norm, they want to connect on a real level.

    hope thats not to melodramatic or abstract

  5. I like this post, with all the replies! I personally can’t really compare any virtual interaction with face to face or what i call, body to body interaction. and Nas on what you suggest of seeing a random person and trying to say hello or say you have nice hair or any compliment, believe me, if its truly what you felt, and its coming from your heart. if you felt any type of connection ( which i find rare for someone you dont know) but if it happened and you approached that person, they will accept and appreciate your courage, and your compliment might make their day. I believe in real human to human experience and relations, and the virtual world never moves my feelings or makes me passionate, attached, on in love. but the real world diffeneitlely does. And what proves our need for those real connections, is the campagin that started with signs saying free hugs, and how so many people so willingly approached complete strangers coz they wanted the hug. The human….. Remains Interesting …. at least for me….

  6. Could these fibers be the equivalent of what we call “sha3rett mu3awiyyah” in Arabic I wonder where this term came from. Virtual encounters are stripped of all preconceived notions and prejudices. That is why they are probably so different. I play scrabble online a lot. I often wonder if the game would be the same had I known the persons I am playing with.

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