Confession: I have been suffering from some of the worst writers’ block I have ever experienced for well over a year now. I’m not sure what triggered it, or what’s been feeding it, but all I know is that something up there is blurry. It comes at an odd time since my current living is made through the written word. Irony, I suppose.
Experiencing writers’ block is to envision it; to see it take shape in your mind. To give it a face, a name, a metaphor. To me, writers’ block is like limited vision; where you used to have the ability to see for miles and miles, there is only static and blurry commotions. It’s like that feeling we all get of trying to remember the right word and it just doesn’t come to mind right then and there but eventually it does. For me, that’s almost how every sentence feels. Inside my head, I feel like there’s a dictionary of words and none of the right ones seem to want to conspire to reveal themselves or come together to form something new and unique.
And amidst all this fury, is the overwhelming realization, the overwhelming awareness, that I am not writing where I feel I should be writing. And that conscious reality stays with me every time I sit down to write, which is every single day. It is, suffice to say, a bit haunting. It is the self-acknowledgment that you are no where near where you could be, where you should be, and the irony is that no one knows this but you. Like mental constipation.
It is incredibly frustrating and that frustration accumulates by a magnitude I can’t even begin to describe. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t plan on being a writer for the rest of my life, it’s just that to me, there is a need to write. It is simply a biological function. There a trillion thoughts wandering through my head each day, and if I can’t write about at least one in some articulate manner, then the pressure cooker upstairs explodes. It will either end up manifesting itself into a second personality, or turn me into one of the crazy people who wander the streets screaming at imaginery people. Either way, I will surely find myself in a white room, with cushioned walls and in an uncomfortable jacket.
Hence this blog; hence everything.
There are a million ways to break writer’s block apparently. Everyone I’ve shared this with has given me a remedy or two, and I’ve even gone so far as googling the subject and doing my own research on it. I’ve done the crosswords and free-association. I’ve tried most of it, and I’m sure people will continue to make their suggestions. But nothing, as of yet, seems to have worked and I’m pretty sure at this point that nothing will.
It’s a confusing subject to understand and it’s even tougher to solve.
Do you analyze the cause in order to determine the solution or do you simply try out various remedies randomly? Is it a lack of inspiration, and if so, how does one “get” inspired? How does someone settle all the mental lawsuits that clog the brain?
How do you go about all this completely alone, knowing that no one can help you?
I used to listen to music, read a book, read poetry, write poetry, watch a movie, and try to find some inspiration in between all that. In the past it worked to an extent, but I don’t think it’s working as well now. There are times when it still does and I get this physical feeling as if someone opened a window briefly to let the cool air, before slamming it shut again. For that brief moment I taste freedom and I can write. But it’s brief.
I think what’s worse about this disease is not only the fact that there’s no clearcut prescribed remedy, but also that the cause is always something that no one else can figure out for you. It is completely yours and yours alone to carry; to suffer.
I’m writing this confession now and here, not out of a need for a presentable solution or even empathy; I just thought it would be good, perhaps even beneficial, to say it out loud on the biggest vocal platform I have at my disposal.
But at least it’s not contagious.
You don’t want a solution and you don’t want empathy, you confuse me, man! 😛
I know what you mean though, I think everyone who enjoys writing has faced this block. The last time I faced it, I made a movie about it. This might entertain you: http://www.tololy.com/2007/08/08/cant-write-so-i-made-a-movie/
No solutions, a little bit of empathy 🙂
I am glad this isnt contagious!
Reading this post of yours, it doesn’t look like you have really a writer block. You have writing a long nice post about a problem that you think exists. Maybe this post can serve as a way to help your other thoughts come out and manifest themselves in writing. I guess that you just need to relax and let it flow. It will come back in no time, just relax.
you need to realign your chakras…your fifth chakra is blocked maybe your sixth too …you need to open up your third eye and your throat..think blue and indigo 🙂
tololy: i will give it a watch 🙂
observer: lol neither this post nor any other post i’ve written in the past year on this blog is something that i would personally consider good writing. besides, where does one find time to relax? and how long would it take? do you see the difficulty of the unknown?
maha: mental feng shui huh? 😀
For a person with a fertile mind such as yours, I think this block you’re going through is a moment of clarity (you identified it, you know). Insh’allah, in the future when you look back at this moment(whatever time span it already took or will take), it might be the best moment in your life that marks your evolution as a writer and thinker. be positive! 🙂
You don’t want solutions but I can’t just not to extend any kind of help to you. change your routines, take a real break, don’t constrain yourself that you have alot to do: throw the extra package. Maybe you folded what should not had been folded, its coming back for a closure, be it anything.
If you dont consider this post or the other posts you have been writing at this blog in the past year to be good, then I guess you are in a severe problem .
I am not sure what you are looking after, but it doesnt seem to be that you anything to worry about. 3am teddalla3 🙂
Ok I know you said you’re not exactly seeking solutions and suggestions but I’ll suggest one anyway. Have you ever got into yoga? It can really clean up that “mental constipation”.
You might be suffering from depression. I googled it too!!