Sex In Amman

[I've been writing this post in my head for awhile now. If you have happened to stumble upon it after googling "sex in amman" then this is NOT what you're looking for.]

Since I’ve come back the number one question I’ve been asked is “how has Amman changed?”. My typical reply was until recently “the buildings”. Yes, in the past 5 years perhaps the buildings of Amman have changed. Big deal.

Now what I’ve concluded is that the sexual revolution in Amman has been hands down the biggest change in the city this past half decade.

The stories I hear are some that I refused to believe until I witnessed a few things first hand. Sex has become so commonplace in West Amman that it’s not even funny, it’s actually quite sad. It’s not only the normalization of sex but the ease in which it’s available. A night at the club is pretty much a guarantee for most people. Relationships have become sexually based; or in other words, hooking up for the sole reason of having sex.

Guys who have one night stands at least once a week is the new norm. It will take a minimum of one drink, one dance, perhaps several sentences of conversation to seal the deal.

New ways to get around old ways…

A group of friends will each pay 50JDs a month to rent an apartment somewhere in Rabia or Khalda or Tla Ali, as a make out joint; a sexual clubhouse, an intercourse timeshare.

Certain places are socially stained with rumors. Whispers, known for its great steaks, is also the place where a lot of married women conduct their extra-marital (affairs) business. That’s just one example.

Specific clubs have specific times, specific windows of opportunity if you will. Guys, well educated in this field, will drive from one to another; hunting.

And when I say ‘guys’ I’m actually also referring to girls.

It used to be incredibly difficult for a male to “score” and back in high school the successful ones were made into legends. Now, their actions are peanuts compared to the norm. Primarily because back then girls closed most of the windows of opportunity that are wide open today (no pun intended). Many females would argue against the existence of “sexually-suggestive” or “provocative” fashion, but if you still think it doesn’t exist then there’s a list of places you can just to step outside that bubble. The fashion is of course backed up with an attitude; an approach.

Notice here that I’m not assigning blame to any specific gender here: both are victims and both are perpetrators; if such roles are to be assigned at all.

The reason I call it a sexual revolution is simple.

Countries such as the U.S. had progressive sexual evolutions that occurred in stages from mainly the 1950’s upwards. Ours was a revolution that happened virtually over night. We’ve gone from one extreme to the other and the results have been noticeable. There are those that would argue “it’s always been there, but undercover”, I would counter that with the fact that it really doesn’t count if it’s “undercover” and also the fact that it was no way near the level of where it’s at today. No way.

Random individuals hooking up for 10 minutes and that’s it. Forget religious rules of the Islamic world, there doesn’t even seem to be the 3-date rule of the Western world.

Girls as young as 15; married women as old as 45. From stylish just-came-from-the-salon hair, to the hijab adorned ladies. From virgins to mothers. And guys from all over, but mostly those who drive nice cars and spend money like they don’t care.

My best friend has a relative who we can call a “smooth operator”. And seeing this guy in action is quite the sight. His looks do not get him far at all, but perhaps his charismatic and fearless behavior gets him into bed with a random girl at least every other day or so. He tells us that after 2 minutes of conversation with someone he will put the invitation on the table straight out. This is in the cases where he doesn’t get the offer first within those 2 minutes (5, if its a very pretty girl who’s throwing him off his game a bit). He tells us that the first question he’ll be asked by a girl is whether he has an apartment.

You kind of have to see it to really, really, believe it.

But what happens now?

Do things spiral further down that direction or does it only set the stage for another rise in ultra-conservatism? I wouldn’t be surprised to see both things happening simultaneously.

We are swinging between the extremes and the middle ground has been pretty much lost. It’s become very difficult for someone to maneuver in this environment without leaning and thus falling in a certain direction.

So when I get asked the second biggest question these days: “how are you adjusting”, I say “barely”. It’s become difficult to lead a moderate life. I’m lucky to be surrounded with a particular group of friends that share common interests and that makes things easier. But we are bombarded with the extremes every time we go out and we spend half the time just looking for a place to escape to.

Where do we go from here?

The answer is too scary for me to even think about.

Thought Is Free...

227 Comments

  1. Could I get the names of these clubs? I vacation every year in Jordan and it would be awesome to see it with my own eyes, because I still don’t believe it and I have heard the same thing from other people.

  2. Hey Nas,
    Has it ever occurred to you that this maybe the norm … and we are crazy?

    Sex is a human instinct, religion is not.

    Just a thought :)

  3. Just to clarify things, when you refer to pulling a girl from a club, do you mean normal girls that are doing this for fun or girls who are paid for the service (prostitutes?)? cuz if you pay then I guess this has been around for ages now, but if you can go on a night out and land yourself a casual one night stand with a Jordanian chick then that’s what you call NEW!!!

  4. Haha, love the comments :D
    Anyway, I think most of the people I know are in the middle. I have met a lot of people on the way-too-conservative side, and very few who are on the extreme other side, but 95% of my friends are in the middle.

  5. HAHA omg people you want the names of the clubs?
    Nas, I may be wrong but I’m guessing these weren’t the types of reactions you were expecting from people. Again, I may be wrong.
    We are totally witnessing a sexual revolution my friend: and I feel your frustration. It’s not the perfect storm scenario, it’s plain oxymoronic, dirty under-belly , what-the-hell-happened-to-sweet-ol’-Amman type change.
    Although I can only imagine how wierded out you and your guy-next-door type friends are, I will shed some of my annoying and eternal optimism upon you (behold!)
    1) I was driving my beloved teta the other day, from shmeisani to airport road (she loves the dead sea; mud for her knees and argeeleh at the Marriott are her favorite things after jiddo passed away),anyway, having just returned to Amman after a year at Georgetown, I was complaining to her about how things like driving in Amman drives one nuts. She replied and said: teta amman battalat zay zaman (amman is not like it used to be), before everyone knew everyone else, know look around you, kibrat amman (Amman has expanded), Allah y3een il nas, fawda. (erm, may God help the people, chaos.)
    I guess in that random ramble came the realization that Amman is rapidly urbanizing. Iraqi and Lebanese immigrants, boys from the Gulf all contribute to making up a more … interesting society. Since when does the Parliament need to enforce an anti-money laundring bill unless the phenomenon were eating our economic situation alive? Socioeconomic and political factors have unleashed the evils of Pandora’s box upon Jordanian society.
    In your entry you longed for moderation: the one thing that defines my growing up in a city like Amman and in a family like mine. (I remember a time last summer when I would pray 3asr then go to the automobile club to swim in a mixed pool, feeling no contradiction, rememebring that this is who we are, we are faithful people, but we enjoy or lives and aren’t backwards or anything like that.)
    At a crossroads today now that Amman has noticably “revolutionzed” i wonder: perhaps it’s time for one to redefine moderation. That is, the revolution is inevitable. What your role in it is what counts the most. Pathetically, I am reminded of Spider Man’s 3 PROFOUND (hehe)finishing note here: everyone has a choice in life. I find it exciting to be living in such a dysfunctional city at this time and day! I realized that moderation is so much more than doing (praying vs. swimming), it’s the life of the mind, it’s something like being comfortable (not insecure) about being with friends that share your same interests/lifestyle and magnifying that advantage. You have the means to lead a progressive revolution. You, are what Rotana-obsessed Arab teeny boppers are not, and you are not one to dwell on the halal or makrooh length of your dress or switch your Oral B for a miswaq. No, my friend, you represent the wasat. Celebrate that, ignore the rest. Maybe you can revolutionize a moderate Jordanian youth movement! Maybe I can..

  6. As someone who comes from a “liberal” country, here’s a word of advice for you: don’t believe everything you hear. If a guy told you he slept with 3 girls, he might as well have done it in his dreams.

    If a girl brags that she’s had so much sex that she’s bored of it, there’s a good chance she’s still a virgin under peer pressure (think the Character in American Beauty)

    Unless you went in a bar and “sealed the deal” yourself in a few sentences, don’t put your money in the mouths of braggers.

  7. Stass: no i’m not referring to prostitutes here.

    Roba: that’s a rarity these days, at least it feels that way

    kadabbi: i honestly don’t have the time to lead a social movement but you make a valid point. i think it’s more about the shock value of such rapid change in a small time frame.

    mustapha: thanks, although i’m very very aware of exaggerations in jordan, but it’s not an either/or situation like you described. amman is one of those towns where simple observations can provide the empirical evidence you need and many of the people i’m referring to do not brag at all.

  8. The components of the amman community has changed alot in the last 3-4 years, refugees or as I call the “immigrants” brought a new life style, when a city absorbs 750,000 people in two years which is almost 50% increase in population you will not only see revolution you will witness a big bang of new behaviours, the middle is lost as you said and the extremes are gaining ground, and those two extremes are now having extra extremism growing..

    Good luck!

  9. Naseem, you spoke my mind.

    And I agree with you, it did happen overnight. We do not know how to deal with it. It is all new to us. I think people are excited about it because they have been supressed (Sexually) for a long time. It is like taking a who has been lost in the desert for a month to a buffet. He would go crazy, and this is what is happening: We are going crazy. The fact that people there do not even get it or do it right (Leaving aside religion and Islamic teachings) is quite sad as you mentioned. Yet people are over the moon; yay now I get to make out in public, and people are actually okay with it!

    I wonder when things will change back … Will they ever?

  10. Guys who have one night stands at least once a week is the new norm. It will take a minimum of one drink, one dance, perhaps several sentences of conversation to seal the deal.

    This sounds pretty crazy, to me. And I’m old enough to have been a “beneficiary” of the pre-HIV sexual revolution here in the US. Barely. The only guys I ever knew who were that good at getting themselves laid were US Marines, who had a lot of experience in clubs and dives all over the world. If this is an accurate description I’d say you guys are in store for a massive social upheaval. That’s what happened here.

  11. A couple questions come to mind.

    How safe is everyone playing?

    Who usually carries (you know what I mean)?

    How are unwanted pregnancies dealt with?

    Is there any Sex Edu. in schools, or HIV/STD health awareness?

    I genuinely appreciate meeting good wholesome Arab girls. It’s hard enough to meet girls here in Perth, yet alone ones that aren’t corrupt.

  12. I’m sure you are aware of the fact that when it comes to guys talking about this 98% of the talk is BS, the 2% is highly doubted.

    I mean how on earth did Whispers become a joint for cheating married women? I mean if this is well known wont any doubting husband bee checking the place regularly? (Did all these playful women had a meeting and agreed on that place?

    Anyways, yest it’s changing, and it’s not only in Jordan, it’s all over the world! Thanks to TV, the Internet, absent parents,big brothers, f… Liberal Media , Hollywood.

    I don’t think things are going into that direction, so no need for the IAF dudes to come in saying: Amman is the new Babel (pun intended) , vote for us to stay cool, we’ll keep your women in home.

    I’m sure that you do realize that bars, night clubs attendees are like 0.00005% of the population? And 0.0005% of those in the bars want to go home with you and have some like-those-cool-actors-on-TV quality time?

    Usually those girls who has been around in most cases are messed up, and end up unmarried. I find most Ammani girls conservative when it comes to full sexual intercourse (lets not go into details about the other stuff that is actually happening)

    Now enjoy the extra traffic on your blog :D

  13. yeah just for the record.

    The number of unwanted kids left at hospitals in Eastern Amman is much more than that of W.Amman

    Zaid they leave them around the corner near a hospital ER, police station. Some would actually go directly to a shelter telling them the kid is out of wedlock (usually W.Ammanis) please take him/her.

    Sometimes, unwanted kids of traditional marriages are left , due to personal problems between the parents (divorced)

  14. I could agree that Amman has become more open and comfortable, and more in terms with sex in that sense, but still, remember that guys love to brag and to BS. I never really tried popping up such a question to a girl after 5 minutes of talking to her, but it all sounds too familiar. Many guys told me about a certain relative, or a certain someone they know, that did get it on with girls by such pursuit, but looking at the mentality of girls in Amman, that it pretty hard to swallow (excuse the pun). However, I wouldn’t rule out the premise that such hook-ups take place after a couple of drinks, and after a conversation. But hooking up in the middle of the street, in broad day-light, in five minutes; sounds more similar to fake-bragging than to truth. It’s so easy for a guy to boast: “Oh, I’ve hooked up with X chick the other day, and you know what, after 5 minutes of talking, she just wanted me, she couldn’t keep herself away from me.”

    Having said all that Nasim, count how many couples are there in Amman, and that would be your measure of how much sex we’re having. I would be relieved to laern that sex is on the rise here, because I truly believe that the lack of sex is the number one factor in our frustration and failures as a society at large. We’re so uptight when it comes to sex, and we still insist on treating it as taboo, and as lady submits to man, rather than addressing it as a need, and a mutual exchange of emotion (even one night stands are not just pure play, there is still an emotional aspect to it, from both sides).

  15. to whom it may concern.

    i have no intention on writing a post that is based solely on bragging and exaggerations. this is based on what i’ve seen and not just heard. it took me 4 months to break the bubble of deniability.

    it’s easy to brush it off as mere exaggerations but go out to any of these places and observe.

    pheras: suffice to say i completely disagree with your opinion as to the source of our problems, but that opinion is your own.

  16. This is a very intriguing article …
    I had this thought for a while, I just couldn’t settle on couple of things. The first that the norms have really changed, and the rest were related to other social changes.
    The city has grown and many things become abundant compared to rare occasions
    Add to that that we grew up as well, and the people we hang out with changed. The kind of topics and discussions have also matured. Since high school when everything was taboo, to now when we are able to openly share and discuss matters…
    Multiply that by the number of people who lie to brag about their adventures ESPECIALLY in front of people coming from the west and you get a rather inflated number.

    I don’t know … it might be all of the above. There might be even way more reasons…

    On the flip side, I remember almost 10 or 12 years ago, the situation wasn’t any worse. Many guys were scoring, and people promptly predicted the end of the world… I guess it depends on who you hang out with

  17. sigh.. i always said iza ijak il 3eib min ahl il 3eib biba66el 3eib.. thats why i never cud get my head around the idea of it coming from arabs.. jordanian/palestinian ppl in precise..

    there is a high level of prostitution in dubai that isnt really a secret, i’ve heard of guys flying from jordan in and spending every dime they have for the sole reason of experiencing the nightlife and russians/tunisians/chinese/arab/local prostitutes that dubai offers.. i can understand that. its their job. they get paid to get laid. bas what i dont understand is what happened in amman, is compromising one’s reputation/religion/principles becoming so easy?

    ana 2refet when i went last july, it was REVOLting but i guess that’s phonetically 2/3rd the REVOLution..

  18. important subject …

    i lived in Irbid for my university years … in areas populated by univ students … and what Nas said i saw over and over again ,,, i think anyone who lived in Irbid would agree … and of course i see that in amman alot … and i know people like the poeple Nas described …

    Its undeniable …

    the many contradictions this country holds is a main reason for that … but to really find out the reason behind such drastic changes can only be concluded after thorough analysis of the situation.

    and i dont agree that this is only in west amman … and i dont agree its only in amman … Irbid Salt Aqaba even Karak join the flock … i used to get stories form trusted sources also abt what happens in Girl Dorms … it is not pretty ( maybe for Joey it is :> )

  19. I agree with you Nas that things have changed dramatically quickly in the past couple of years, but I also agree with Roba that most of the people I know are in the middle.

    I would say that even if guys brag and exaggerate, the nature of bragging and exaggerating has changed quite a lot and that does indicate something… it’s no longer just the suspicious massage centers and what not.

    I’d dare say though that our society’s view of sex is still very much focused on the hymen, and that as long as that remains intact then everything else is trivial.

    And I want to reiterate the question on protective measures, sex education, HIV/Aids awareness. I think it’s about time information on these issues is made more available and open for education and discussion… it’s no point remaining in denial and feeling that by talking about safety meastures you are encouraging people to go for it… if they’re gonna do it they will do it anyway, so better to be safe rather than have unwanted children lying in hospital wards.

  20. Everything you said is true and happens, but it’s absolutely not the norm yet. I’m in the middle of all this, I know people from all kinds in Amman, guys with beards to the ground to future porn stars, and I can comfortably say that what you’re talking about happens to at most 5% of the total number of youths between 15-30. Seeing things you would never imagine to see in Amman with your own eyes is what gives you the impression that it’s the norm, it’s still not the norm for 95% of guys in Amman to go to nightclubs and bars in the first place, how about getting laid in 5 minutes! I can compare it with cars in Amman; if you take a tour between Abdoun, Swaifeyeh, and Dair Ghbar, you’ll definitely get the impression that Jordan is a rich oil oasis, you will say that the norm is to have a car not less than $20,000 in Amman, even though you live in Amman, and you know it’s not true, but when you see a decent number of evidences in one place or two, you start thinking that what you live in isn’t the norm.

    I’m not going to talk about bragging, simply because for those who cannot get it, even bragging has changed A LOT, and that alone is a big evidence on that a lot has changed.

  21. Welcome to neo-liberalism, the future of the Arab world. No democracy, no equality, no freedoms, no industry, to technology, no culture. Just sex and booze and consumerism. personal freedoms with no political freedoms, consumption with no production, sex with no commitment. Welcome to the Hedonist Kingdom of Jordan.

  22. that was a great post!
    its strange how th youth deal with such stuff and having sex before holy relation (marriage) as its an easy and its fine! why not!! we are having fun.
    most of the cases i worked with, when i asked them why? most of them girls!!
    the answers: he loves me (tb3an im sure he is not)
    its fun, great feelings, ect…….
    stupid answers..
    after all what will save us and save me as a girl we have to have foundation, Principles and beleives so we can stand on it!! whether we are good or bad, happy or sad!! nothing will move us from what we beleive or what we are, its not just relegion, relegion without faith and work nothing!!! for both Islam and Christian! Both of them against adultery.
    Parents shud have free time for their own kids!! i beleive that they dont know anything about them or their relations!
    anyway i posted many articles about such stuff, im so into these im trying to help youth in jordan as much as i could:)
    http://www.wedzzone.com/archive/2007/1/141053.html
    http://www.wedzzone.com/archive/2006/12/131725.html
    http://www.wedzzone.com/archive/2006/5/44257.html

  23. Great insight on this matter,
    I don’t think I can call it a sexual revolution, and I don’t blame the “liberal media” – because all it does it makes you think and pushes you to do nothing, it comes down to the person.

    It’s really hard for me to believe that girls in Amman are giving up so fast for casual sexual relationships, REALLY hard. I don’t know If I have to apply that it’s there and “undercover”, probably I’ll lose my credibility! hehe, bass inno think about what girls think and the unfortunate consequences that could happen to her.

    If they love each other, decided to do it
    at least let them do it safe – use a condom
    balash to spread God knows what in the country! LOL

  24. Bring it on, loosen up people; you might just enjoy it (that is if you can reconcile it with your retentive morality)

  25. I think you have to keep in mind that one of the biggest ways people have changed in Amman is in the way they talk and what they say.

    Today, many people care about portraying a certain image more than anything else. In order to do that, people who used to be honest in the past have had to start lying, even to their best friends, in the present. Inventing stories and exaggerating events. A simple smile becomes a flirt. A small conversation becomes a heated intimate discussion. A smile becomes a kiss. A kiss becomes full fledged intercourse.

  26. Moll Flanders, what do you mean “Bring it on, loosen up people; you might just enjoy it?” are you saying Thailand or Brazil or South Africa or a host of other countries who loosened up are enjoying AIDS, STDs, illegitimate births, teen pregnancy. do you want to turn jordan into a red district for the Gulfy horny guys like Morocco? is that your idea of loosening it up? remember, it’s all about the balance. we are not Sweden or Canada, we are a country with no balance. either we get the whole Western package (rights, technology, culture, liberalism) or we go Iran route. At least they have technology and culture and political freedoms and yes national dignity. they are a country where the top leadership does not prostitute their country for money. (opps, excuse the Freudian…).

  27. You know its interesting that you brought this up. I was appalled when I went down to amman for a visit last summer. I’m not just talking about indecent behavior and appearance..I mean just the amount of KIDS who actually drink!!! I was shocked out of my mind and I live in Dubai for crying out loud…thing is, all this happens in Dubai, but it’s not available for all to see..they don’t serve alcohol in COFFEE SHOPS for God’s sake and they certainly don’t serve it to children…I know this is somewhat irrelevant to your topic but I think this is all tied up..

    I speak from personal experience and I am a hijabi by choice-for the record, I come from a family that is highly indifferent to hijab- and when I went down to amman where most my father’s family lives..I was called a ‘phenomenon’…why??because I wear hijab and I want to..after some explanation, my cousin kindly clarified to me how hijabis are viewed in amman…she said they were the worst of the lot and that they’re known for being sluttios maximos!! Further into the conversation, my cousin proceeded to tell me how she wouldnt mind her boyfriend sleeping around as long as he didnt tell her!!! I couldnt believe my ears…I mean I was not able to comprehend why a girl would stoop so low and accept that for herself..my cousin really believed that guys just cannot survive without engaging in a sexual relationship and according to her “if I cant give it to him, I’d rather someone else did”!! That was mind boggling to me…I refuse to believe that men are just animals who have no control over themselves whatsoever…and yes, like you Nas, I feel like I live within a very tight circle of friends who have similar interests but there really isnt much room to maneuver otherwise and it could be quite stifling… Allah y3een ou yihdee

  28. Another well articulated piece. What makes it more interesting is the fact it is coming from an “alien” who was not in Amman in the last few years.
    I think what you call “sexual revolution” is a function of the fact that “sexual tools” have increased and became accessible in Jordan. What I mean here are tools for sexual stimulation (CDs. DVDs, satellites, internet) and tools for communication (cell phones) as well as tools for mobility (lot of girls drive their own cars now) and tools for gathering (apartments) as well as tools for making out and hunting (clubs).
    In the good old 80s and 90s we were spending a lot of time and efforts to land a porn film (VHS and betamax) and some naked photos from foreign magazines. WE did not have cell phones nor shared apartments or clubs and bought our first cars at the age of beyond 25.
    I managed to keep clean from adultry when I was single since I wanted to do the same thing I demand from my wife, but if I were a teenager at this time I am sure things will be more difficult.

  29. Personally I find Hijabis morally morally reprehensible. Whenever I walk down my favourite streetes of Amman nothing manages to ruin the experience more than the sight of a Hijabi. I particularly loathe the ones who do it out of choice. I fail to see how they so readily and willingly adopt such a blatant symbol of gender discrimination and oppression. But that’s just me.

    No people keep saying that only 5% of the population go to bars/clubs so on.
    totally not true perhaps only that percentage go to the trendy, upscale bars but Amman is awash with sleezy/seedy establishments where the lower orders of society oongregate. Even in East Amman there are bars and liquor stoes galore.

    I don’t see what’s wrong with people having sex as long as its consensual and the party’s involved are able to do it safely and so on.
    Why do you or anyone else have a monopoly on morality.
    I find this whole debate ridiculous. If people want to have sex then good form them of course there are many unwanted side effects mention earlier in terms of promiscuity becoming the norm, but it is the same with any adult activity and those risks can be mitigated through education.
    Also your friend is definitely full of hot air, 5 minute pitch and then sex, that happens very rarely anywhere in the world

  30. I cannot say that I agree with the pro-change ppl up to a point where somebody just tagged jordan by the name “the Hedonist Kingdom of Jordan”. Still, we need the change. Maybe sexual supression is not the sole cause of our social and economic problems, but come to think about it.. you can relate it in some way to each one of them!
    Nas, remember your article about changing mosques?? see the connection?
    I guess Aziz Abdo and Haifa Wahbi (my stereotypical mind’s representatives of the so called liberal media) wouldn’t have had to do all the bitchiness in their clips had it not been for the people asking for it in some way or another.
    But again, that’s my twisted mind’s way of thinking things around :D

  31. Wow, all of the bloggers are commenting here :)!

    Too bad I am late to give my opinion!

    Nas, I really wish what you are saying is true! But unfortunatly I can’t.

    While yes Amman has changed in the past few years, and yes people are much aware of their sexuality and much more accepted of sexual behaviour, there are still a lot of limitations on people. It is not a norm for a guy to have sex once a week. Women are still in much boundaries concerning sex. One night stand are not as common as it sounded from your post.

    I consider my friends to be very liberal. The men wouldn’t mind having sex with a different woman each night, but they find it impossible in Jordan unless they want to pay for it which they don’t like to do.

    Women are still shy of admitting it. All of my girl friends, and who do curse our society for the limitation it put on their sexuality, wouldn’t go for a one night stand sex. Maybe if they are in a relationship, they would have some (but ofcourse keeping their virginity). But all of them would shy to admit they had any sex.

    If we have a sexual revolution, then it would be for the best. A lot of frustration would just fade away. We just need to drop down the last hollow cover and let those women loose their virginity when they feel like to.

  32. What surprised me, is that there was this rave concert/event in Jordan called “Spring Fling” and I look into the crowd (through a video) to see Hijabbers bumping and dancing among the vast amount of men and others.

    that was a TOTAL shock for me, also seeing that the ones who were out to celebrate new year after 1 AM in the hottest spots in Amman were 80% Hijabbers. Perfect. lol

  33. What’s this BS?
    That’s so untrue. I’m a Blond Blue Eyed 1.86cm very good looking guy who can’t find a date in amman even with my BMW. Though I have my own business, apartment and car.

    Superficially, girls are so liberal, but when it comes to sex and dating, still we aren’t the west!! Still girls have that mentality that they want a socially approved life and marriage, and are pretty aware that dating and sex ruins that chance, even when it is easy to close the hole at the doctor!! pardon my French. And they are aware too that it became acceptable nowadays to have more freedom about what they wear, where and when and they hang out, but it stops there.
    I studied in the Jordanian university, and even if university girls should have been the most modern, i never had the courage to mention sex in front of them except for 2 or 3 times throughout my uni years. Yet my male colleagues never stopped boasting getting a beautiful girl, that maybe a change, a change in talking courage.

    If you r talking about prostitution, that is everywhere in the world, even more in the poorest places in Africa, and doesn’t mean a sexual revolution is to come.
    If you are talking about a change in social values, apart from rare cases, What u c is only superficial.

    Someone mentioned the customers of classy pubs, ya3ni Nai, prana wil shilleh. Ppl who go there are mostly, foreigners, Lebanese, Arab 48, and those belonging to minorities quite less conservative than the average Muslim Jordanian, + the ppl with Russian looking women u know what they are :) . the rest are average Jordanians and make up less than 0.000005% of the pop.

  34. I totally agree with Qwieder, its always been like that and not to deny that thingss are constantly changing, but I have been hearing the same stories since the early 90s….

    some of the commentators said that the reason for all that is simply because of ” livining in a choke” factor … do you agree?

  35. Interesting subject popped out here…

    I accidentally read the article, and it’s quite true. I’m a guy that deals with this issue. I have lots of these “one night stands with many girls”. Almost 3 days a week. Who ever don’t agree, then they are not part of AMMAN. This is the new Amman people, if you don’t know that, well you know now. :)

  36. I would like to add my perspective and if it seems like I am boasting then do pardon me. I lived in Amman and partied hard with several friends of Palestinian origin. The women we dated were non-Arab RJ stewardesses and before that we satisfied our urges mainly with Egyptian women working in hotel lounges. Yes some Jordanian women gave it up but this was very rare and I do mean very rare. The dude who claims 5 minutes is a LIAR. Picking up ‘casual women’ does not work that way, heck even most prostitutes prefer you break the ice first. Unless you are talking about a street walker! Make the rounds and do visit the clubs mentioned and I guarantee you it is BS. Even Palestinian /Jordanians in the west are extremely hard to get.

    The ‘normal females’ that do give it up are slowly manipulated into giving it up. It takes time, effort, trust and love (for the most part) for them to succumb to their partner.

  37. Sex is overrated…

    Who cares if people are having sex ya3ni? I don’t care since it does not affect me in any way and it’s between them and their God.

    Mish?

  38. “Personally I find Hijabis morally morally reprehensible. Whenever I walk down my favourite streetes of Amman nothing manages to ruin the experience more than the sight of a Hijabi. I particularly loathe the ones who do it out of choice. I fail to see how they so readily and willingly adopt such a blatant symbol of gender discrimination and oppression. But that’s just me.”

    Jordanian, how can hijab be a symbol of oppression if it is done by choice? When you make such broad claims, please explain what you mean. You are talking about a large portion of girls who sacrifice a lot when making such a choice- and no, I am not talking about those who party hard or make out with their boyfriends behind a tree. I’m talking about the ones who are morally aware of what hijab stands for and live accordingly. I’m sorry your walking-down-my-favorite-streets-of-amman experience is ruined by the mere sight of a hijabi -sounds like a nightmare to you.

    Is there ANY hope for this world??

  39. P4 is great, i never made it unless ice was broken first, so what about normal women?

    Citizen maybe a 16 yr old dreaming guy… 3 times a week?!

    Why is this huge attendance of this thread? is it the title that grabbed everybody’s attention. Be wise, damn, you are a group of sexually hungry people.

  40. The Hijab for many women around the world is forced down their throat and have no choice in the matter whatsoever. Even in societies where there is no legal obligation to wear the hijab the choice is an illusion given the social networks that these Hijabis live in where the choice not to wear the Hijab is not a realistic one given the fact that they would be ostracized form their community. In Jordan to many women this is the case, theoretically they might choose not to wear the veil but in doing so alienate themselves from all those around them. As such the choice is an illusion.
    I find it disconcerting that to women who do have real choice (middle class and above) they willingly adopt the hijab whereas it is a symbol of oppression for so many women who do have that choice in any tangible way.
    Furthermore, the veil itself is symbol of the segregation of the gender with the female being subservient as it is she who must cover herself in order to limit male advances.

  41. If women have no choice, if hijab is a symbol of oppression, then blame the f***** arab communities who made it so.

    I don’t really know how you think in this very irrational way.
    You advocate women’s freedom in not wearing hijab, yet you blame their freedom when wearing hijab.

  42. Jordanian, which part of the Arab world are you talking about??? Saudi?? Because what I seem to notice nowadays is that hijabis are the ones being ostracized from society not the other way round…I don’t know where you get your ideas from..I’m sure there are many who are forced into wearing hijab but that is no longer a wide sect of society..i have 2 friends, people I know very well, that were forced to take the hijab OFF because their parents felt that it would minimize their chances of getting married and a ‘good’ job…a choice is a choice is a choice…an illusion of a choice is one that exists only in your mind…i don’t buy your argument..I don’t see thousands of hijabis swarming the roads of amman, sending out death-threatening looks to non-hijabis…please, give me a break…

    Gender discrimination?? Really? So tell me, is it gender discrimination that men are not able to get pregnant? We are two different sexes and the fact that women have to cover is because women happen to be more visually stimulating, thank you very much..I have yet to see women drooling over a guy..

  43. I moved here 2 yrs ago and I have lots of expectations moving in an Islamic country but moving here became a nightmare. I’m Asia but I was raised in Canada since I was little. I never felt so discriminated in my life until I came to Jordan. People looked down on me coz I’m Asia. I’m also a convert in Islam and I learned that Islam have no color and everyone is treated the same whatever you are…but moving here make me realize how good the Islam back in the West…The Muslims are united in the west, no one looked at your race, your color, etc. Islam never changed, its the people that changed.
    Back in Canada, Muslims are stronger in their faith and it’s a struggle living in a non-Islamic country, but still, we managed to practice Islam the right way, Alhamdulellah. I remember when I decided to wear the hijab and the non-Muslims couldn’t understand why I’m wearing it but they never discriminated & criticized me. Now that I’m among Muslims and living an Islamic country, I could only regret moving here. Living here is really hard and I spent a lot of time alone b/c I always feel I’m being discriminated. I will just leave it for Allah to guide me. Alhamdulellah for everything!!!!

  44. BS BS BS. All this gibberish means nothing without actual data. We can talk about all we want.

    I want to see it and try it out before I give my silly comments.

    Several people have asked about these places. Why hasent anyone answered?? No answer; hummmm. Maybe its all the same BS you hear in Amman every day.

  45. mmmmm, ok i agree with the idea of opening,,, but BELIEVE me when i say that we are still a limited society.
    all we care about is what and how does it look like, but when it comes to real thing very few who has no life values and are insecure will do ‘IT”..

    please if you disagree give facts not jst generalized comments ;)

  46. As a journalist in Amman my backing is with DR Who. Your observations are not empirical, rather they are anecdotal. A man and a woman flirting in a bar is not a foregone conclusion for sex. West Ammanis are prone to hyperbole, if they read a little more and occupied their minds with something more substantial than gossip and hearsay then they would lean less towards wildly inexact speculation.

    “Countries such as the U.S. had progressive sexual evolutions that occurred in stages from mainly the 1950’s upwards.” Wrong. The arrival of Rock ‘n Roll was the precursor of the Hippy movement, a rapid and seismic shift in sexual attitudes. The Summer of Love remember? I would be more cautious and circumspect about using the word revolution since it stronly connotes mass change. That’s clearly not the case here.

    It seems that what you write is motivated by fear. Perhaps that’s why you’re so quick to extrapolate from a handful of (questionably truthful) stories of young guys and girls getting laid. But why not put things in perspective and, assuming that you’re right, ask what you would prefer; a country in which people are free to make love with who they want, or a country in which women are murdered for far more innocent expressions of human nature.

  47. The idea that women need to be cajoled into sex by promises of love, commitment or materials has been our traditional way of manipulating men into protecting and caring for us.

    Really women want sex as much as men do and the sexual revolution which comes hand-in-hand with the liberation of women’s societal roles is evidence of that. Women who can look after themselves don’t need to use sex as a tool of manipulation and can therefore enjoy sex with (or give it up to) whomever and as they please.

    Observe the status of loose women/prostitutes within a traditional society’s female hierarchy. These types of women stand low in the hierarchy because they threaten the traditional relationship structure by creating a situation in which men can get sex and chaste women in need of male financial support/physical protection get nothing.

    I also agree with the statement that much of the frustration that I see in the people around can be credited to a general lack of sex. It would be interesting to see if the sexual openness of a society can be correlated with peace and happiness. But then, in all my travels, I have yet to experience a truly sexually liberated society.

    I’ll stop before I write a book.

  48. This is a response to Neela’s post.

    “The idea that women need to be cajoled into sex by promises of love, commitment or materials has been our traditional way of manipulating men into protecting and caring for us.”

    The protection and care in this context is surely disingenuous and most probably delusional since it is based on false pretences i.e. sex for ‘affection’ and material generosity, it’s hardly an equitable motive. Not to mention the fact that it would be illustrative of women’s complicity in their own exploitation and the reafirmation of patriarchy. It’s not only men who are being manipulated here.

    The idea that women can use their sexuality to exert power over men doesn’t stand up to much criticism since within that context women quickly become objectified and disempowered in much more profound ways.

    I think that if people are going to talk of a sexual revolution then they need to remember that revolution is about the wholesale rejection of one set of ideas in exchange for another. Just because pre-marital sex may be becoming less of a taboo doesn’t mean to say that Jordanian men are reconsidering their overwhelmingly chauvenistic and all too often mysogynistic attitudes towards women.

  49. Great news
    i am planning to visit jordan in few weeks, can you please give me the names of these night clubs

  50. yallah…I think amman has been always like that…I mean flexible ..it is not an opressed society ..and never was…thanks to our government and good king…lets pray it will stay like that…
    look at some other countries in the region where they used to be same or more moderate than jordan and they have changed to worst by going extremely backwards for example Iran….just imagine that…that will be scarey….yak.

  51. “disappointed Muslima”…what are you talking about?! what makes you convert to Islam…and who said that islam doesn’t allow you to practice whatever you want…islam is just a relegion like any other relegions, we are talking about people behavior “SEX” not relegions. ouft… go have fun for gods sake…boring… you people who live outside middle east are the one who are causing all the problems …

  52. “Hiba”
    “you people who live outside middle east are the one who are causing all the problems …
    I guess you don’t understand english coz i posted “I moved here 2 yrs ago” DUHHHHHHHH….
    I really didn’t want to elaborate about the subject of sex coz it wasn’t appropriate for me to talk about it.
    As for me converting in Islam, i saw alot of what i believe in more than what i saw in Christianity.It’s a great blessing to be muslim and to practice Islam how it’s suppose to be and not wat’s convenient for us. It’s weird coz when i first came in Jordan, some1 asked me why Im wearing hijab n long skirt, i mean wat kind of a stupid question is dat, nwayz i told her dat it was d new fashion in d west…Do people(islamic contries) think dat since we live in the west, we are exempted of wearing hijab n covering our bodies, omg…
    The problem with the people in an Islamic countries, they have forgotten their religion & self respect….they are so busy imitating the West thinking dat this is their great Jannah…Wake up people, popped dat bubble dat u r living and observed the reality of life….having sex & drug are not the answer…this is wat’s destroying the lives & society in the West…
    Hiba, Jordan will never become like Iran….Jordan have too much of the influence of the West and it’s too bad to see an islamic country destroy.

  53. first jordan is not an islamic country ,never was and i hope never will be, jordan is jordan part of bilad al-sham and the holy land mentioned in the bible, for every ones info jordan was a christian majority until the ottoman empire ruled and brought muslims from all around, creating this mixture of what is now the jordanian people ,white or brown,blone or burnettes, this does not matter, the mix is great , we have pretty people…living in this holy beloved BEAUTIFUL exotic small country… it was always moderate , people in amman were always not interfeering with each others buisness to a certain limit. while in amman some families are conservative others are not and no one really interfeered ,there was always clubs and liquer stores, for gods sake jordan produces the best wine in the middle east compared to fine chillian wine(my opinion) and arak! people from irbid dance the dabke girls and boys holding hands, while the jordanian bedouins were always liberated ( bedouins) their women walk freely to get the water from the well with their draids showing and the guys gather around them and talk!
    jordan was more moderate and open than now, opposite what is being post ! just open university of jordan year books and count how many girls were wearing hijab in the 70s and 80s and how many there is now ?! you’ll be shocked.not only that but now the girls who come from non hijabi life style cannot wear the mini skirt to uni that their mom used to be able to walk freely in in amman in the 70s, becuse she is scared that some islamist e5wan will come and lecture her out of no where or some 7afartali will jump on her !lol! i miss the real jordanian people , i miss shmaisani and waibdeh filled with the elegance of the jordan not some brain washed youth that don’t understand their roots and who they are shifting away from the shami culture and the culture of the holy land,the vinyards and the dabke, the culture that shows how much freedom jordanian women have normally,just count how many jordanian girls are studying in europe ,canada and the states living on their own or working in dubai. i think people that see jordan this way which are ALOT should wake up and smell the rot before they sink…in a way they are esp. last 5 years but more has also to be said as done… i am tired of how much an open heart jordanian people have to every attitude and stream that they agree until now to not have a beauty contest!!! after they had it once in 1979 and the islamists shut it down! jordanians from all religions and MENTALITIES have the right to live freely in this country for just one simple reason,THIS IS JORDAN
    peace

  54. What the sh*t areej is talking about? we are a bunch of bedwins dwelling in this desert, what blond and brunette??? we are proud Muslims and proud black and proud to be like 3jal il kawshook in color. When there are a bunch of Christians who came from Syria this don’t mean we were ever Christians, if u don’t like it jump to shitty Syria ok?
    and what bilad al sham, bilad il sham are the f*** place and most mota7’allefeen people on earth. Jordan is and always better then Syria and Palestine and Lebanon.

  55. they didn’t come from syria , they are as jordanian as you, and i did not say anything against the bedouins , i love the bedouins, but for your info there is no difference between the jordanian and syrian bedouins, and don’t tell me that the jordanian christians from madaba,karak,irbid,hussun,ajloun,salt,fhais came from syria!!! they are as jordanian as you ..and since when jordan became a bedouin country ,bedouins are part of the society in jordan but they are not the whole society.

  56. Areej.
    Jordan was a christian country 1420 years ago. It has a clear muslim majority ever since. The othomans did nothing to alter the demographics of Jordan (from the religous side). The change was ethnic (allowing people coming from the old russian states to settle in Jordan).

  57. I love Jordan no matter what. I love you people Muslim, Christin, Biduin, Fala7een, and Nawar too.. Aqanba to Ramtha…and all in betweem.

    Bottom line, sex is good..

    Raasah ya gada3…

  58. wow – if the subject was about political participation, i wonder if same number of responses would have taken place – sex is a combination of need and want (like breathing), and if it happens by choice – perfect, so long as it is kept a private choice and responsibility. consequently, sex education must come into play towards making that choice and bearing the responsibility of sex by both partners. if emotions step in, sex becomes magic, then again, that too is an indivisiual’s right of choice and responsibility.

  59. I agree that it is getting pretty sad when it comes to prostituion here in Jordan. I have been coming here for many years and own a house here. I am American and my wife is Jordanian. My wife had a family member visiting in town while we were also vacationing. We went to the hotel restaraunt to meet her cousin. When we were walking in, a guy stopped us and told my wife she had to pay 5JD to enter. This was a bar / restaraunt but this was 3pm. When we asked why she had to pay, he said because I was staying here and since she was my “guest”, she would have to pay. I was not staying at the hotel and she was not a “guest”. The way he said it, he was implying my wife was a prostitute. I found several things wrong with this, first the fact that he called my wife a prostitute, second that the only reason he thought such a thing was because I was American and she is arab, third, that he was actually ok with letting her in to do her thing if she was a prostitute. How are we just going to turn our backs on this sort of thing? This has become so socially acceptable it is scary. I do not live in the US and will not live in the US for this very reason, we live in the gulf. We have talked about sending our kids to Jordan for college but after these past few years, where women are dressing like this and people are acting like this, I will not. They will be going to college close to us in the Gulf or with family in another Gulf country.

    I did read one post where somebody blamed part of this on guys from the Gulf. My question is this, Why do you let them get away with it? They dont approach and disrespect women in their country like that, so why do you put up with it here?

    Times are changing in Jordan and nobody is to blame except Jordanians. This is your country and one you should be proud of. This is not a muslim problem, a christian problem, etc… this is a moral problem which should be stopped immediatly before it gets too out of hand. Once this country gets marked as being this open, it will only continue to bring more and more socially repulsive characters in and get worse. Do you want to sacrifice your own well being for a few dinars of tourist money?

  60. Hi Everyone,

    Over the last decade, life in Amman has changed tremendously and undoubtedly it has become more liberal. This is because of a number of factors, most notably being the influx of refugees from both the first and second Gulf wars. Being a Jordanian, I find this quite saddening. The country has taken a downward spiral in terms of morals, and of course you can’t believe everything that you hear; but generally speaking there will always be some truth in it – the degree of which is up to us to decide.

    You don’t have to be a genius to realise that is will effect us all. Society is based on family values, loose those and society will slowly slip into oblivion (broken families, increasing crime etc etc). The question is what can we do about it? The answer is simple, we can all do our own little bit. For example, to dress modestly, avoid alcohol(or drink responsibly if you do), build good community relations etc etc.

    Lets just try to be responsible citizens! Best wishes to all.

    Iceman

  61. great article…
    anyway what i wanna say is that let ppl live they are free but the problem it comes when guys and girls think that they must do one night stands or get laid to be cool or whatever
    they want to be modern but dont know how to do it until they do it right we still cant progress
    when…
    when a guy comes along not braging about him gettin laid last night with a check which he calls a slut!!! why ? coz she slept with him? but aint he is guilty as well how come he calls her that? coz am a guy he asnswers, screw that i say u cant call them that when u do it ur the same.

    when…when desperate guys act that this is wrong coz they cant meet any1 in these clubs when they fool themselves that they dont need a woman in thier life although they are crying for it.

    when,,,when ppl here realize that they dont have 2 like black music and techno do be cool

    when when….ppl start saying that its ok for a girl 2 do that coz i do it to , i drink she can too , she aint a slut , the problem that half the guys even tho they go out with girls like that, they still say they are sluts and whores coz the things they do

    thats the fkn problem

  62. I heard a story, in short, 2 men were sent to a place to see hows the living there

    onr of them came back saying.. everyone in that place is drinking, alot of clubs and alot of bad behavior.

    the other one came back saying that everyone is praying, and it has alot of religious places where everyone is going to.

    in short, both of them went to the same place, but everyone saw what he was looking for.

  63. trust me such (liberal acts) are here since long times ago but in a less public way u r simply exploring them, no doubt it expanded but its not as bad as u imagine.
    now being moderate i think all of us believe they r moderate, its a matter of perception, u can c me as extreme liberal and i can c u as extreme conservative, i hope i made my point clear here.

  64. Whoa… what a long and entirely ineffective series of comments (save a few).

    Society-Morals=Shithole.

    Jordan=Society-Morals.

    Do the math.

    Oh yeah, I would say something more meaningful, but the thing is that the downward spiral of everything, including sexual promiscuity has more to do with the lack of moral training in the family unit itself than anything else. I mean, if your Dad doesn’t respect your Mom, well, you might just grow up to be a chauvanistic asshole. If your Mom doesn’t explain to the girls in the house that woman aren’t servants of men, then maybe the girls will find their position as subservient to men normal and acceptable. Simple, unfortunate, saddening psychology is all…

    I’ve been here for a couple of years, and I must say that the male populace here is dastardly mysogynistic.

    I want to say, Alias, Allah (SWT) keep you, and Muslima… and the alledged journalist, tryptich(sp?) you have quite the impressive vocabulary. Interesting point of view.

    Oh yeah, and me likening Jordan to a shithole… well, if the shoe fits, you know what they say… =)

    Oh yeah, interesting post. Salaam.

  65. Hey, I agree with you. Living in Amman is strange for me, cuz on the outside, i look very Western. I dont veil, and my clothes are American. On the other hand, I’m somewhat of an old woman on the inside, and look away everytime a guy approaches me. So i guess the thing is that guys in the old part of Amman mistake me for someone with “other” morals, which they hope to exploit, and and still many others think im the type that is ruining their culture. It’s hard for me to identify with people here cuz, I find myself resenting the suburban Western Amman elitists, and despising all the assholes in the streets who want to do less than Islamic or even humane things to me. Its so sad to see people throwing away their traditions, and yet how can we stop the world from changing? And if a place as religious as this is more scary for a woman to walk around in than many american cities, what does that say? Jordan’s so beautiful and it’s painful to wish that some parts of it aren’t as crappy as they are.

  66. Interesting article indeed and seems the replies and comments continued for almost a year now. Allow me to reply to the last comment from this year, Z as an older guy (in my mid 30s now) I agree on the cahnge you and other mentioned, but I think you were a little harsh with your last sentence “crappy”, I do travel a lot (sometime 8 times a year) for work mainly and to the different cities from US, Europe and Arab countries) I can still confirm we are still one of the good cities. For me for example all what was mentioned can be solved or reduce the bad things with very simple sentence: If we can be more organized and realize that NOT important that I only be happy there are other people who should be too.
    To give an example of much simple yet comlicated thing in Amman is driving, just drive for 15 minutes and you will realize that almost every other driver think that the he/she owns the street. So back to the main subject “sex” if we respect each other everything will be better, girls like Z and others will be able to feel much better when walking in the streets and not fear that every single male will try to pick them up or worse as some think every girl will love to sleep with him.

  67. Misleading Article Title:)
    I Wish you had discussed this from Psychological Point of View,people now appear to be less concerned with the home and children aspects of family life and more concerned with the social aspects. . sense it does appear that people here in jordan have departed from traditional values. Some of causes behind this phenomenon are influence by the mass media, increased idealization of romantic love, and current social and economic conditions.
    All these developments took place alongside and combined with an increase in literacy and decline in religious(islamic) observances and old traditional values . People continued to feel alienated from the past and adopted the life-styles of modernizing westernized cultures.
    I just hope this doesn’t end up with the culture of “free love”. it’s a great article ,conveniently brings out sensitive dilemma.

  68. First I will say Salaam to all my brothers and sisters here. I like the previous writer am late in responding to this issue that has been laid out before us, no pun. I liked the article and I am glad it was written. I like many of the responses as well for they seem open and honest. I am an American Muslim now living here in Amman for 2 years and I must say that I am not surprised at the events that are happening and that will happen. When I traveled here 8 years ago I saw little things like a little tavern in Jabal Amman and heard of girls that were willing to do the Haram for a few JD’s. When I went back to the States my Muslim brothers there all asked me how was Amman. I told them it was great, but I see within 5 years things will drastically change. See people will behave according to how they think about a thing. They will use something as a reference point for them to do or not do an action. We see this in many Surahs of the Quran and Hadiths. A brother in the States once asked me what is a problem. I began to explain a problem is this a problem is that. He said no a problem is when we don’t do things according to the way Allah and His Messenger says we should do them. For those who are having sex without marriage then what is their reference point? Maybe that should be a topic for discussion.

  69. Salaams to all.
    Guess i am also just as late :)

    i am a south african muslim girl rather i should say lady. People always have an impression that a muslim girl living in a none muslim country is BAD because she is working, studing not married..ect.. yet has the confidence to live her life and not be ruled. i know i mite be tramping toes as you read.

    people still think south africa is one massive jungle who has no culture. south africa has a large portion of its population who are muslims, some influenced a bit to much by the west and while others have strict islamic values.

    However when i read and look at articles that are being published i have and always had so much respect for the arab nation cos the quraan is your mother tongue. how can one not fear Allah? and have casual sex?? meet at a club? i wont even think of something as disgusting as that and many muslim males and females here in SA will be so disgusted with the fact that the man/woman they marry are not virgins.

    the question i have is islamic countries, are they really islamic? why have a holiday on a Jummah? What does Jummah and eid mean in a muslim world?

    i know here in south africa it means if you in a meeting with the director of a massive company, many males excuse themselves and say IT IS MY PRAYER TIME ..MY TIME WITH GOD.

    yet we live among so many cultures and religions …we have indian- (muslim, hindu, tamil, Christian) and we europeans from so many countries … ppl from China ,buddist, jews , even people who do not believ in god. then we have the Xhosa, zule, and 11 or so other african cultures. BUT the muslims in south africa have musjids full during prayer and their girls keep themselves mind you not even kiss a male on their lips sexually.

    so how can you say the TV, internet have influenced Jordon so much that is shocks you.

    I think the people there need to relook at themselves and ISLAM.

  70. HI,
    I read this article and most of the comments that a lot of people made and i do agree with what most of them. I think that the Arab world have drastically changed in the past ten years to the worst thinking they will make it more modern. what makes me angry is that we only copy the bad and negative attitudes that people in the western countries do. they invent new things and they go to the moon along with doing all the other things that we consider taboos such as having sex before marriage, and taking drugs and all that stuff. However, we are not going no where we just copy the bad things and ruin our lives, communities, and reputation amongst the world.
    One of the reasons that some girls and guise have sex before marriage is either due to situation of the men there being very poor and cant afford to get married or very rich and have nothing to spend their money on except their pleasures. For the girls if she is rich she will guarantee someone to ask for her hand but for poor girls they are getting older without getting married and this is exactly when they start asking for it since it is a human instinct

  71. Nansy i agree with you. it is sad to see what the religion islam has becom in the last few years- the world is against us yet we know this and still cowardly behave in the same manner as the west. Can we not see what they do to our fellow brothers and sisters- Gaza.. Kashmir..and many .look what they did to us .

    our prophet (SAW) was the last messager and brought us the final complete book that had never changed over thousands of years, and what we do is turn our back on the man that will beg for us to enter Jannah when the day of judgement.

    this world is now only -sex drugs and fine wine ect (Haraam) how much can you want it.
    SEX will eventually lead you to misery if it is not with your wife only – u will get AIDS – U will die a filthy disgusted way.
    drugs- will again make you feel worthless when you not on a high…Why subject yourself ???
    Wine why drink when our prophet says NO! makes u lose your sense.

    Islam is so perfect, yes we must control our nafs. we fast in the month of ramdaan we control of nafs- Allah is so merciful we must make tawbah and dua.

  72. hi
    just wanted to say that part of what you said is true.But mayb to a minority of the population.If you are talking about options or hang overs where guys can have sex with russian or ukrnian girl and seal a deal.But I disagree with you mentioning Whisperes .It is a nice Hang out for ladies.Please mention the clubs.
    thank you.

  73. (Teenagers/Sexholic’s and were they stand in community)

    Well it’s really crazy , How all the miss-guided Teen’s with raging hormones react and think about girls , I mean with pr0n movies on every other mobile phone and kids as old as 12 being introduced to such things , I think it’s only fair to say that “It’s not safe” for young girls and lady’s to go hangin’ with the wrong public , Not that only but i’ve seen women brought to tears in public because somebody somewhere made a remark on how her as* is suitable for his …. Or whatever!. I swear it gets to extreme points , In both everyday lives to how people actually think about women. It’s a painful reality , I’ve interviewed kids and teens and asked them to answer about what they think of women , And i was surprised that the word “Sex” , Came up in every single answer! , I didn’t hear the word .. Half of the community or A mother .. I’ve only heard voices mis leaded in a way they never were supposed to take in the first place. Some kids were disgustingly graphic in their desires but i knew it all lead to the same destination , They lead to “Lust and Desire” . It’s okay to accept that those are only teenagers and mostly poor .. But to be honest they are a huge slice in this rather different and weirdly built community .
    But for those who actually live the life-style of sexholic’s , I feel sorry for them .. Because they’re not living! they’re trying to fill gaps of emotional emptiness through sex and all that comes from it . Not only that but imagine their lives once they settle down ! , They’ll never trust each other because , They know that they are highly likely to go cheating around each other backs and never tell about it…
    bottom line , Just keep your-self surrounded with friends that share your interests , And i don’t mean every single interest or hobby , But those who share the same vision towards life.

  74. seriously whilw i was reading this i was extremely suprised,as the last time i was in jordan was in july ’02,and i never witnessed any of this kind of stuff
    i know that there are hookers and all that kind of in jordan,but for normal guys and girls to do all that,is really amazing,and like you said,sad.
    i really cant imagine what is going to happen in the future,if now theyre doing all this,i wonder what might happen in just a couple of years
    im visiting jordan this october so yea god knows whats going to happen from now till i get there,next thing you know guys and girls will be fully making out in the streets and malls like here,but yea lets just hope that things dont go that far.

  75. Jeremy , great you going back :)

    i plan a trip to jordan later this year aswel please let us know about the trip. would be great if you can suggest a few places as a “must see” and tourist info.

  76. Blame Globalization It’s a 2 side coin. you can take the bad side or benefit from the good side. so u either become a sheikh or u get drunk every day. otherwise you will feel lost. People are free to do what they want so everyone should mind his/her own business. The only thing that make Jordan an islamic country is the fact that it is mentioned in the constitution as being so. So ure in the Jungle baby pick what’s best for you. You cannot fix anything.

  77. If you are interested as a western female now living in Amman, no sex is not as prevalent here as in the west but the obessesion with sex is far more common, manifest both in the desire for sex and the repression of sex. Without cultural liberalisation it is all too common over-sexualise intent. I am talking about a common misconception that familarity infers sexual access which is all to common here and can lead to these exergerated claims.

  78. I think the revolution is a far from a sexual one, even if it seems that people are bonking their way thru town.

    Sex is just the way it gets manifested. The yearning is about identity, belonging, individuality, being heard, being recognized, being singled out, being unique, taking charge, being a hero for a moment, being a star for a night, being in charge of one’s own actions.

    It’s quite sad actually. But this is the result of intellectual and creative oppression, and of a suffocating system obsessed with things instead of people and the complex diversity that comes with them.

    Sex is the easiest act in quest of a revolution that cries out: Notice me, I am important, I can contribute.

    Look around you today and

    Take the average male: where else can he dominate, be submissive and be cherished?

    Take the average female: where else can she explore, dominate, be cherished?

    These are natural human desires, but I think people who live in healthier societies are able to achieve these in many ways other than sex. Here, sex is the quick fix. To some a quick fix is better than none at all.

  79. How did i end up here again ??!! Damn you Google is that the only “sex in amman” result you ever have??!!

    The topic that never dies ..the ever lasting froth on the vox populi

  80. “Damn you Google is that the only “sex in amman” result you ever have??!!”

    i’m not even going to ask… :-D

    but you’re right…one year on and its still everyone’s favorite topic. the majority land here through your own google experience :-D

  81. it was for educational research purposes ONLY ..one should always check the prevalence of sexual promiscuity in a city before going there, it’s sex in “the city” research

    BTW “weed in amman” does not take me to your blog

    This comment should combust after you read it …remember the old post stopper hypothesis that i get stuck with

  82. Lots of blogs, anyhow. You don’t have to be a Miarine to get laid pretty regular….Anyhow, Heading to Jordan for a couple nights in May….
    I will find out how good it is there.

  83. Wow, Some long runnin blog, eh? U basically got the whole sit. in Amman in a nutshell. It feels as if the high dam in Egypt were to collapse; it’s as unstoppable as the water would be… It would be fine if things would stay as they are (not really…), But its only getting worse, since everything is new to the people, so they want to try it all…i feel sad for them. The situation is grim…..Grim indeed

  84. im sorry people but i really think the author of this post has lost the plot….girls here arent like that, ive been here for only a few short monhs but havent seen anything to the sound of whats written above….prostitutes are abundant everywhere if thats what you’re into…but this….well lets just say is a load of shit…lol…girls at clubs are frigets…you talk, flirt, dance, kiss, get with ok but take them home and get them into bed is a bit far-fetched….ive been to most good clubs in jordan and made great friends and all but yeah ive yet to see it for myself or see anyone i know refer to things being that open over here…This country is extremely conservative, people’s reputations rest on what they did in their younger years…sorry maybe there are clubs i havent visited (1 or 2), but to say that its becoming a revolution like it is in the US, OZ, or EU is…well a huge exegeration of whats happening here.

  85. For those who chose to live in denial GET SHOCKED and WAKE UP, just like I got shocked and sobered big time.

    A year ago when I relocated back to Amman with work I met a girl (lets call her Miss X) and we got engaged, she is in her early twenties and comes from a well off family. Miss X has crazy social life with tons of friends that are also categorised as the “cream” of Amman.

    Since then I had the opportunity to hang out with the new Ammanis, the so called the cream of the society. And I have witnessed first hand most of the stuff mentioned in the original article.
    To set the record straight I’ve never seen any pulling in bars neither I heard about shag pads however premarital sex does happen from monogamous long term sexual relationships to one night stands . And no I’m not talking about prostitutes I’m talking about young well educated people from well respected families.

    Now the more shocking news : many of these families know about it, many choose close an eye and only few are seriously ignorant. Mind you lots of these sexual activities – mostly after wild house parties- take place under the very roof of the family. And I’m not talking about the boys’ families only.
    The so called “Boy friend” and “girl friend” often treated as part of the family and invited to many family functions.

    Now you could argue that this is a normal evolution of society and after all lets be real we are living in the 21st century, but when sexual relationships between teenagers and young people in their twenties IN AMMAN for god sake resemble Sex And The City where girls literally jump from one man to the next it becomes too much to comprehend, at least for people like me.

    If denial is still more comforting to you, go to Aqaba in July and stay in one of the 5 star hotels, go to the hotel bar open your eyes, watch and have a beer maybe you will sober up.

    Having had discussions with my Miss X and lots of her girl friends we all “Agreed” that Hymen is myth, Virginity is old fashioned, and sexual liberty is IN big time.

    Needless to say My Miss X became My X.

  86. well, I do agree that it is becoming ugly here in jordan and I’m hearing a lot of sickening sex related stories, and shockingly from my part as a lawyer-judge it is proven that 65% of raping stories in jordan WAS NOT raping and was by acceptance of 2 parts, but when “she” starts to get afraid after doing it she claims rape, and we are seeing the way the girls dress now in jordan, it’s like they’re saying look at my flesh and go wild. what else can you expect!!! it is by commong sence, the high priced gold isnt shown at the shop windows, it’s hidden for special costumers, and I hear a word on the streets from the guys saying (( cheep meat)), so the one night stand girls are like toys with expiry date, you use them and throw them away, not like the man he can hide his past and no one will ever know of his true or false virginity.
    I hope that Allah will help us in Jordan , Allah yihdi il jamee3.
    ilgroon katraneen (dayooth) 3ala golet 3amti…il ghozlaan btitbaha bi gronha. LOL
    fa..ana bansa7 bi irja3 shortat al adaaab, min gherhom sarat amman FALATAN

  87. I am not blogger. I have just stumbled here. :~)

    Nice work. Thanks Nas for bringing this up. It is true. I feel it every time visiting home. Few comments:

    – It is a “sexual disintegration” rather than “revolution”

    – This has been there long before they were migrants to Amman, very long time before – it just the buble has surfaced

    – It is not limited to Amman/Jordan. Look everywhere around you (Dubai, GCC, Egypt, Lebanon, North Africa, etc…)

    – Opposite pole, many young folks do pray more often that their parents did: there is a trend among young Jordanians or Ammanites to revert back to religion/values.

    – I think who is to blame at the very early-on is the way parents have been ignorant/complaicent about practical religious values (I say practical because if they cannot be applied in practice to meodern life, then they are obslete and of no use but in the essence of such values, they are not obslete). We had simply parents who could not interpret change

    – May be becuase our parents’ own generation produced the same very failures that we all suffer from now (all the wars, all the miseries, all the geoplitical ugly Arab scene)

    – Hope? yes there is hope and there should continue to be… May more people like Nas and less like “tell me the cool clubs names”, the Amro Diab’s, the Sex and City’ers or Friend’ers – more balanced males marrying balanced females to reproduced balanced Jordanian or Ammanite: more modern new families with decent values.

    Salam

  88. Wow Middle Eastern arabs have a have a huge inferiority complex and 0 identity. The arabs and moslems i know here aren’t wannabes like all of you.

  89. Although a sexual revolution is hard to live through and I agree that a society consumed with casual sex is not healthy, I do think it is a normal part of progress that after a sexual oppression comes sexual liberation to the point of casual free sex. It happened in the 60’s in san francisco and now san francisco is a nice place to be, people have mellowed out about the free sex and become a little more conservative in general but people are open minded and no one is oppressed there. Sorry if I offend anyone but sex is natural and while having it with a different stranger every week is not a healthy, waiting until marriage is also ridiculous. I don’t want to marry a man who has never had sex and f**ks like a 14 year old boy! The women in the arab countries have been sexually oppressed for so long and it is about time they get to have a chance at having a healthy FULFILLING sex life! So just let things take their course, in 10 or 20 years everyone will have mellowed out and the people that want to have casual sex can and the people that don’t wont. And people doing what they WANT is better then being forced into a lifestyle they have no choice about.

  90. ” The women in the arab countries have been sexually oppressed for so long and it is about time they get to have a chance at having a healthy FULFILLING sex life!”

    holy smoke! Ploni, where have you been to spit out your Words of Wisdom and teach Arab girls what’s sexually best for them? !!

  91. Nas thanx a lot for this its amazing and it was forwarded to my e mail i have always wanted this subject talked about .with all due respect to all who has something to add on our positive way of thinking or new ideas would be nice to share other wise no need for sarcasim.. TO ARABS and Jordanians in particular ” which is sex in amman” so for people who don’t know how we are raised or our religion believes I BELIEVE ALL RELIGIONS FORBID SEX BEFORE ITS LEGAL so back to sex in amman its a way to keep our minds of whats going on politically and economically with all the new technology its a revolution to everything new together with the high expenseve life its becoming thus money is in the air people r spending like crazy on hash sex pleasure …..anyways i have sooooo much to say hoping to add something i was living outside amman for 5 years came back 2 years ago divorced adding on what u said nas i my self have faced a lot and i mean a lot of sexual harrasment from married men and single men all thinking that im ready and available anytime….and i am sorry i have mingled with many types of people we can never say all there is always the good and the bad the decent and the nasty again amman is different most people think of nothing except how they can have the next girl or next guy…..all i’m worried about is how we can educate our children from thinking that this is a trend and to make them have ethics and red lines….many started saying how to have safe sex others r commenting on freeing oneself from trying i think time for any two is the way to learn and share feelings and not just lust. thank you

  92. This just bugs me.

    Have we lost ALL identity?

    There’s no such thing as a Jordanian anymore. NOTHING is Jordanian anymore. Everything we have at home is borrowed, copied, mimicked. Looks and traditions were the only thing left. A cross between modern and conservative. Well, that’s obviously gone!

    I rememeber a time when the prevailing concept was that Lebanese and Jordanian women are beautiful but hard to impress and get with – and the easy way is to go after the western liberal ones.

    Well – I guess girls at home are much easier than western girls. A drink? A visit to a club is a guaranteed lay?

    We’re absolutely lost and it makes me very sad for the home i knew many years ago….

  93. I came across this blog by pure accident, but I’m quite pleased that I did… I totally agree with most of it’s contents if not all… something really wrong went on in Amman and in a very short time… I haven’t left the country and lived all my life here, and I still feel unable to deal with the change… it did happen over night… and those of us who were raised on moderate beliefs, find themselves unable to grasp all the changes…

    I don’t know if it reached the level of random one night stands and club pick ups, but one thing is for sure, virginity has become more of a concept rather than a physical attribute… sex is now acknowledged as a basic need by BOTH genders, while earlier, it was an argument men held up and women argued against in light of conservative upbringing.

    I remember times when being “seen” with a girl could bring you more trouble than anything else in the world (been there, done that), and now we’re on the other extreme… girls drunk in clubs getting home at daybreak… guys running around pumped up on hormons and whatnot… and there seems to be a whole generation now that takes sex, alcohol and even drugs in a very casual way that is definitely scary!

    If we go back ten years, the maximum concern of a guy who’s intending to get married is whether the girl “met” a guy before… now, the concern is more seriously towards whether she’s a virgin or not, and a lot of guys don’t actually care about that either, but here’s the bombshell of all concerns, and this goes for both genders: Will he/she cheat on me after we’re married?! This concern never existed before… but with the amount of extra-marrital business as it has been coined, this has become a concern! And part of that concern is related to having previous sexual experiences to compare with.

    Rates of divorce are on the rise, which is a natural consequence I believe… as trust levels go down…

    And one extreme gives reason for the other extreme to exist sadly… so the more extreme we go with libral behavior, the more extreme we should expect in fundementalist coservatism.

    I liked moderation, and to most of my generation it’s our comfort zone, yes, you break the social rules here and there, it’s part of life, but it doesn’t and shouldn’t become the norm… I’m not against alcohol, and I’m not against sex (I’m definitely against drugs though), but things have just gone way out of control… there seems to be no guideline to anything, no basis… it’s all chaotic in a way, and that’s scary

  94. Hi ,
    I think we are into moderization , for middle eastern and speialy jordanian ,this mean to be open minded >>> sex ,parties ,etc. and to be careless of your society and traditions ,its only founded in west amman ,due to the development and increasing in incomes with flees from iraq and lebanon

  95. My thoughts on the issue: its ok to have sex before marriage but within a serious relationship. its ok to drink but not get wasted and put it as an excuse to get laid with random ppl. ( I drink and i over do it sometimes but it never lead to something, if anything i shunned guys away but probably thats just me). Drugs why not, they open up your horizons, and college is the best place to do it. Afterwards you are thrown into the real world and barely can afford to be high and numb at the wrong times.

    Ive heard about one night stand stories, and the girls who did it were really popular but guess what? they’re now married and to the best guys in amman, reputable families, mucho mucho money and that defines a guy as one of the ‘best’ in amman, unfortunatly.

    Im a muslim as well and i believe in Allah. With all the contradictions in my post, Im quite happy and lead lets say a good boring life but i stand by me beliefs and i think im quite moderate and you can combine sex, alcohol and religion and lead a good life.

    in the original post, you said your friend picked up girls after a five min conv. i think thats a bit too exaggerated and i think he picks up the ugly ones at cheap bars and clubs.

    Prostitution is the oldest job in the history of the world and sex has been intriguing mankind since creation. For Jordan now, the best way to deal with it, force sex education at schools. educate your children about sex, drugs and alcohol and not be oblivious abt the influence of the West coz it has been there since the establishment of the country as a kingdom.

    Thank you very much

  96. its just one thing that i am thinking now ! ………………..

    when amman people -also all the world- start to forget the (islam) – not as they know it , i mean the real islam from god ) they start to go straight down to helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

    and this is not funny its change us from human to animal for example ( love ) it was good human feeling but the stupid thing is that:

    love —–changed to—-> sex

    i think you got it :|

  97. To be honest not too concerned with all that is written…bottom line is that I’ve just moved to Amman and would like to know where one can go to listen to live music, dance & bump into some like minded people…

  98. RIGHT ON….. and any u who’s sleptic abt all of this should go out a lil more ! and belive me guys its not … i come of a family background tht was desibed here by some1 … like we pray then we ‘ll go out and have fun and everythin not tht we’re twisting the relegion its just that ” ino kol ishi il wagtoo” …. being 21 now and had been in a 3 year relationship with my Ex gf .. and she was practically family …we used to go out clubbing and stuff !!!. but what shows tht change occured in a glimpse is tht y little 14 year old bro. gets to choose between girls i mean for us when we where in highscool u only had the choice of having a gf or not ! now they gt and party and not that am proud of it but my lil bro. gets to 3rd base !!!! imagine GUYS 3rd base !!!
    and if u wanna see some of this action just go to MYTH on a thurs. night !
    when i was in highschool i always wanted to get laid now tht am mature i see what happens and am scared by it !i am for liberalization but in our unique way that we’ve always enjoyed and made jordan the special place it is !!!
    peace out

  99. I ALSO AS THE OTHERS, JUST MOVED TO AMMAN AND WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHERE TO GO , MEAN WHERE TO SPEND SUCH A NICE NIGHT OUT AND WHERE TO MEET FRIENDLY PEOPLE,,,, DON’T EXPECT THAT MUCH BUT AT LEAST SOME FUN… MISS AMMAN AND PEOPLE OF AMMAN TO MUCH…LOL…XXX

  100. i just came across this website, wich actually didnt surprise me at all, and the problem is that tis isnt a new problem at all, i remmember wen i was in the 8th grade i used to hear such stories of girls having sex all the time i was in the new english school, but the problem isnt there, its in the next and next generations!! coz every generation that comes after only learn the stupid stuff and all they think about is ( woow i should be like the older guys) , and its ture it isnt about they way you look or talk, its just about if your dad has money and you have a nice car!!! i didnt belive the thing about the car thing before because i was used to drive my mercedes and never notice the difference! i thought it was about my looks.
    BUT for the past year i’ve been driving a bus for too long and actually i was amaized! girls never look at me when driving a bus even if i was about to ran them off!!!!
    and at the end of the day while driving the mercedes looks form most of the girls in the street are all around me! i find it funny coz if you think of it this way, girls are becoming shallow thinking that this guy has money and this guy (bus driver) doesnt!! but too bad its the same guy!!
    but to think clearly, if girls think this way that nither me or any other guy which have a nice car actually dont worth anything coz its thier dads car and dads money so girls should realy start considering of going after older guys coz when they get married the “DAD” will stop the money river to teach his son to depend on him self, and then the girl would think that she have chosin the wrong guy!!

    am not saying that girls are all to blame but, if they draw a red line for the guys they will stop trying to take her to bed!

  101. so you say that it is that easy to find checks around hah???? well my friend that is f###en bullshit. guys i was born in Amman and living in Amman. it is true that the country has changed for the better more open mind people, but seeing cool girls where ever you go does not mean they are bitches. for God sake people, you don’t even know how to get a life.

    go live your life the way you want and let the others live the way they want too. we will stay arabs for ever if you know what exactly i mean and i think you won’t…..
    cheers to all

  102. Looking in the rearview mirror many anticipated this becoming mainstream. However, I don’t believe it is at the level you are describing.
    I don’t also believe it sexual deprivation, many of the willing and able in Jordan will organize private parties or events that will attract that kind of crowd and keep everything behind closed doors. This can be either in a large scale setting or just a small hang-out type of setting with the end result is premeditated and known to all parties involved beforehand.
    This has been the case way before the arrival of the immigrants. “High Society” ultra-liberal groups of people that have deviated from what was accepted as the norm of Jordanian values have set up their own habitat in which they can express their desires without the headache of raising eye browse. Yes these apartments or “lodges” as I like to name them, are setup in many parts of the country but are open only to the circle of trust.
    Yes the immigrants have altered the status-quo but still do not contribute as significantly to the issue as the existing underworld does.

    I am falling asleep and I don’t know where I am going with this so I will continue some other time…

  103. you’ve got to be kidding me !!!
    this is like -time wise- the longest “thread” ever !

    now you have a proof to yourself that sex is the favorite “topic” not only in jordan, in the whole world…

    i actually ended up here when i was googling “amman hot girl” cuz i noticed how girls these days in amman are taking it to the edge in their i-wouldn’t-stare-at-you-this-long-even-if-you-were-naked fashioned clothes… and i wanted to get to the bottom of WHAT’S GOING ON!

    as i said, looks like sex IS actually #1 human beings idol…that is “what’s going on” :S

  104. You’ve said it friend.
    I’ve spend the last 10 minutes typing then I closed this window! This really sucks!
    In short (coz I’m not typing it all again!), Hurray for the guys in Jordan, and it makes my tummy turn upside down thinking about the girls there who are supposed to be coming from Arab families that have spent a lifetime and an effort in bringing up their daughters to be decent and show humility and educate them and isn’t that the basic foundation of Jordanian culture and traditions? It makes my tummy turn SO upside down that I get diarrhea sometimes when I think about this and need to rush out to find a suitable crap place.. but anyway..

    It’s sick. It all comes down to the girl not having any self-respect. For the girl to be aware of her promiscuous behavior and for her to be OK with being touched and ‘handled’ by many guys even if on the same night, for her to be open about her multiple one night stands and her on-the-table intentions of going to a club / bar to pick up guys and fool around and be as easy as possible.. Actually it’s SO sick simply because she has sold herself cheap and she is cheap and she chooses to be so, those are all her decisions and her way that she’s picked in life. (I’m being polite putting it this way).. but How does sleeping with many guys and dressing so scantly and just putting all your goods out there make a girl open minded and western?! What a loss and what a sad blog entry you’ve posted my friend.

    As for me, I’m planning a trip back to Amman ASAP and take advantage of the shameful situation our country has come to.. Back home.. Back to where it’s easy.

  105. Actually this topic doesnt surprise me at all…..
    jordan, mainly amman has really got different, ppl have just changed..and – as said –
    over night !!!!!!!!!!!
    its not just for the clubs here n there……whats happening in general, that ppl are dating
    and having sex,, in the name of love or whatever!!
    one of my friends got in a relationship with some girl.. n not just any girl… shes a girl
    from a very well known family here in jordan.. i was shocked when he told me how he
    rented an apartment for the night, n had sex with her.just simply as that…. and when i asked him
    hows everything now, he replied that they broke up long ago…..!!!!
    but now im not shocked anymore cuz it seems that everyone is doing it…………
    i mean what on earth happened to our values and principles,,,,,hell…..what happened to
    our religion!!!!!!! it seems pretty obvious that girls have no respect to there selves no more……
    theyd go for a cute guy,,,,maybe not so good lookin but one who has a cool car n the bux $$!!! lmao!!!
    add to this, when ur driving down any dark street at night, take a good look at
    parking cars……u should definitely get a glimpse of two ” lovers ” makin out…..

    no body gives a heck no more?!!
    its like we woke up with no identity or sometin..
    i personally dont think that this ” situation ” is gonna move us to a better place…..
    unfortunately if something doesnt change us quick……. ( Allah yustor !) i dont even wanna imagine it……. wake up ppl!

  106. first of all…I want to thank you for your good article…but there is something you should know…I think the situation is not as bad as u pictured, it’s something related to Strata of society, we have a in Amman (western Amman) a some stupid, pervert, Decadent people with “Poor personalities”, who try to Justify their stinking deeds with the halo of being “open minded”….our society was a pure one for long…that’s what we should fight to keep….but I think 80% of people are normal here and that’s the good news…if we cleaned up the 20% of scum we will prevail my friend, and in order to do that we should use the source of all hope “the Islam” ….the purity that we should never doubt

  107. Nice article!…and you know…i think it so true…there might be some exaggerations in it…but i did notice this cuz i used to live in amman 15 years ago and recently i moved back! OMG! drastic changes!…like u said its not just the buildings…and the roads and stuff… the people changed alot!…it used to be a simple nice quiet country where the 2 extremes mixed seamlessly…but now…you can clearly notice the difference! I feel I do not fit anymore! can’t find any middle ground! neither when it comes to people you meet or the places you go out to….its kind of sad!

  108. HAHAHA. This thread just never ends. It’s like a sociological experiment that constantly updates itself. I wish I was as lucky with my commentariat as you are, Nas. Besides the regulars & trolls, there’s just the “hey baby u in Amman? how do i get in touch with u baby?” crowd, which is, I guess, an odd off-shoot of what you’re talking about here.

  109. if you are bothered by such things why go to those places.

    just a thought:
    if a human being dedicated his whole life trying to fix other people’s behaviours and actions -and you guessed the answer to that- his life will end with below minimum results. And if this person dedicated his whole life trying to improve his/her life and the lives of his family and kids, his/her life
    with what pleases god and religion, COMMON SENSE WHICH IS NOT TOO COMMON I quote Voltaire, social values, ethics. his/her life will soon be over but at least he/she showed them the right way.

    God created man with his brain over his shoulders “the highest”, his heart in the center, his lust the “lowest” and man stands on two legs . Unlike animals where the brain, heart, and lust are leveled. i.e the animal satisfies whatever need IT without thinking!, hungry it feeds and so on. got the drift? NO? USE your HEAD

  110. Amman bound tomorrow. Last time I was there it was 02, simply put… i’m scared of seeing what has become of my beloved country. Seeing is beleiveing but in a world more globalized that ever, I’m willing to bet the truth isn’t far from what you’ve posted, both for better or for worse. However it is easy to generalize based on what is in your own direct suroundings. Lets remember Amman is a city of how much 4 million now??? (i’m sure im way off but my point is that its huge) and being so big its easy to miss a few spots when trying to paint a picture.

    Long live the Wasat!

  111. well i read the blog , most of it anyway. im a paki , havent been to jordan , and know precious little about it. Nothing like outside perspective eh ?
    the bulk of this debate . hob hob , blotch blotch , focused on sex and jordan , promiscuity and non promiscuity, protruding flesh and hijab , actual change and the illusion of it. We hav had assenting views and dissenting views , both in favor and against of all concepts put forward here. so its pretty saturated this blog thingyy.
    All i say is this .
    to the muslims : Follow Islam.
    to the non muslims : Find Islam.

    And the next time any of wants to write something here , before you do , close your eyes , and think if there is anything that you could be doing which is more valuable . Then do what you think is right.

  112. wat the hell man,
    im an aussie born and raised female, of jordaninan background n we r more bloody religious than u guys. wat the hells happened to the arab world??? screw culture and everything like that, u follow ur religon and thats it. THATS IT. wats with the sex crap, just wait til ur married. they all get married there early anyway.call me old fashioned but i reakon its more meaningful that screwing every1. TFEHHHHHHH 3aleko. and to think i wanted to move to a more islamic country, australia is more religious than the middle east. how ironic…

  113. Well, well, well…
    I believe that what you’ve said is right but there are things that I think you still don’t know about; a double number are starting to get back to Islam starting to pray and speak about Allah in different occasions. So I think it’s a matter of balance here.
    So Ldinia lissa b5eir…

  114. dina, i think ur right, but a double number !! i dont think so…the way i see it,ppl nowadays are getting away from religion more n more as days pass us,.more ppl are starting to believe that the hijab isnt mandatory,n it kinda makes a girl less n conciderd to be (ta3qeed lalbint)…..
    n the sad thing is that many ppl still have faith,but only shaked faith….
    actually, i happen to know this muslim family, with a father n son who have in many words stopped believing in allah while the mother n daughter r still relegious n wear hijab too…..
    and “?” ur right too, i lived in australia n ppl r way more religious, n by being a citizen im planning to spend my life there…
    its realy sad n rather disapointing to know that many ppl think that being modern,cool,and not retarded from the rest of the world is by quitting on ur religion, or part of it :|
    anyhowz,so far,yes, eldinya lessa b5er.

  115. to the non muslims : Find Islam.

    I don’t speak for any other non-Muslim who might comment here – but personally? Thanks, but no thanks. There has been a number of blanket statements made on this thread about amorphous foreign influence threatening the purity of Jordan, or any other country like it, but this stuff is pretty organic to any society where two extremes of conservatism and liberalism battle each other out. I’m not Muslim, will never be Muslim, and I am not going to accept the blame when both under-sexed and over-sexed men of any religion decide to project their own desires on me. The fact that Jordan has a native Christian population just makes such pronouncements all the more out-of-place.

    And there is a little more than “protruding flesh and hijab” going on here, that is a false dichotomy, pure and simple. Talking about women’s looks like that is furthermore an insult.

    And the next time any of wants to write something here , before you do , close your eyes , and think if there is anything that you could be doing which is more valuable . Then do what you think is right.

    Perhaps you can start with yourself, then. Stop fantasizing out loud about “protruding flesh” on all of us who don’t wear hijab, for a start.

  116. Amer said: “[...] and we are seeing the way the girls dress now in jordan, it’s like they’re saying look at my flesh and go wild. what else can you expect!!! it is by commong sence, the high priced gold isnt shown at the shop windows, it’s hidden for special costumers, and I hear a word on the streets from the guys saying (( cheep meat)), so the one night stand girls are like toys with expiry date, you use them and throw them away, not like the man he can hide his past and no one will ever know of his true or false virginity.”

    Good grief – & you said you were a lawyer-judge? God protect us from our own lawyer-judges, then, not from anything or anyone else.

    A man’s actions are his own responsibility. The clothes a woman wears have nothing to do w/it. Are you a man or an uncontrollable kid in a candy store?

    And how can you speak of women the way you do, using the double standard you’re using, & expect anyone to respect your opinions? It takes 2 to tango. Just because a man has no hymen, he still loses his virginity, & if the woman is ‘meat’, or a ‘disposable toy’, then so is the man.

  117. it is by commong sence, the high priced gold isnt shown at the shop windows,

    What can you expect from someone who compares women to inanimate objects? He seems to have forgotten that women aren’t “gold” – whether “cheap” or “expensive” – they’re human beings.

    Coming back to this thread over the years, I’m not surprised by the high (and, by all indications, worsening) level of harassment in Jordan.

    If a good percentage of men are allowed to think of women as commodities that cannot think or feel (especially for as long as such commodities don’t have their rightful “owners” nearby), it makes sense that they treat them as such.

  118. i think theres a little exaggeration going on here, relax. regarding the “protruding flesh” statement, it doesnt seem that any1 is attacking anyone of non muslim faith, both muslim and non muslim are showing “flesh” so to speak, but i dont see how thats relevant. ppl r able to control their desires theres no excuse for that. i am with a muslim jordainian guy n im an australian muslim woman and he is nothing like what you guys have mentioned above. you cant generalize a whole race of ppl jst by judging a few (both female and male).

  119. I don’t think I’m generalizing at all. I’ve lived with a Jordanian man for nearly 6 years now – and I wouldn’t have done so if he or his family were disrespecting me.

    Unfortunately, there is a good number of people in Jordanian society that have the attitude that it’s OK to disrespect a woman they don’t know. It’s a particular shame, because it co-exists with Jordan’s famous hospitality. The blame, however, gets shifted on the woman – how dare she exist?

  120. Interesting article and comments.

    I think its pertinent to mention here the difference between culturally based and conviction based religion. Why speak about religion? Well, this is the main factor that provides you with your morals, values and outlook in life, particularly in the Muslim world, although the same can be said of any country where religion plays a big factor.

    Now I was born in the UK, from an asian background and live with my wife in Jordan (which is half Jordanian) and the thing that holds us together is our religion as this is the thing we have in common. Our beliefs, values, attitudes stem from Islam as this is the common bond between us, and thus our cultural backgrounds do not form to many of our ideas. I’m not saying we are in any way better than a pure Arab family, just that our outlook on life is different.

    Why am I blathering on about this? Well, quite simply, if your conviction in anything is primarily culturally based, it can be biased and polluted with cultural ideas rather than reflecting the true spirit of the message. On the other hand, if you have conviction in what you believe in, your faith is far more stronger and you are less likely to be influenced by such damning traits.

    This is where I believe the problem lies. The faith of most muslims (and I suppose every other religious denomination) is based on culture. They have never had to fight for their identity to discover who they really are and question what they believe in. This missing link is what I have seen play a big role in the difference in the way in which muslims live their lives in non muslims countries as opposed to muslim ones. Out there, they have to fight for the survival of themselves and their religion which makes their faith stronger and which is what has lead to so many non muslims becoming muslim, not the blind faith and condemning people to hell tactics employed by so many Imams. We need to ask ourselves if our character and faith is at a level where others looking at us actually would actually admire us and be intrigued about what we believe in. I think the answer to that is a resounding no, so how can we expect our own to hold onto these values??

    With the lack of such role models, its no wonder people are turning to extra marital affairs, drugs, alcohol and God knows what else. These are precisely the things the West sees as problems and is trying to rectify after realizing that freedom doesn’t give you the right to destroy society around you, which is exactly what is happening. Millions are being spent on rehabilitation to try and reintegrate people and produce a more sane society.

    I believe a return to the fundamentals of middle of the road religion, respect for all and the promotion of family values as well as engaging the youth in constructive activities would go a long way to balance out this situation. We need to have pride in our values which the West is crying out for and realize that we have is gold. We need to engage in intellectual conversation with our youth and raise their expectations of the society and of themselves and show them that there are alternatives and that family values DO mean something.

    I remember in the UK I used to live next to an old English lady who I got to know. She became very friendly with me and I even used to do her shopping for her on occassion as she was quite frail and lived on her own. She was so astounded that anyone this day and age would do that for her! Her kids had pretty much abandoned her and visited a few times a year, and only lived 20 km from her!

    I just hope that things here don’t get to that level…Allah Yustor.

  121. Hmmm.

    I’ve lived in 10 countries so far, and have lived in Jordan twice. Things change … reasons are why things change … but whatever.

    The planes of choices have grown in Jordan, but what of the tools of choice-making?

    Sex makes live … well … sexy to live. It is a big little deal – if it were otherwise, not all species would be ‘doing’ it. But could you ‘do’ it right and ‘do’ it wrong? (And I don’t mean that technically)

    I have learned that power is nothing without control, and that having a variety of academic, technical, professional, physical, and mental capabilities/achievements is one part; the other part is having belief, spirit and heart.

    Personal sexuality is a reflection of one’s balance (or the lack there of).

    Being socially moderate does not mean having an even mix of goodness and evil, or smarts and stupidity … it means being around the social mean of a sample-population; and that is all.

    Striving towards being above average is noble; following (even your own heart or mind) without control if self-degrading.

    Time, capabilities, and all that you are can be invested or squandered.

    You are your choices – make them wisely.

  122. Unfortionately,
    All story is true, problem is people wants this change(young), but seniors are supporting too!
    Sad.

  123. No six in jordan im sure, i think you are imagining because six is hard to make it easy! how there is six if all this girls keep putting makeup and smell like cheese???

  124. I lived practically my whole life in this Shit-hole.. and I also did notice that whatever progress or advances this city lives through it mutilates it into a whole new type of social damage… people don’t seem to grow up here because they are forbidden to do so in the first place.

    well I don’t know about you but I’m 20 years old now.. and I haven’t been laid. WHY? simple.. I can’t find a girl here.. all I see are females… who actually LOVE the way boys around here treat them! lies, tricks, bullshit… they don’t care as long as it ends with 2 things.. Money and sex…

    yes some girls I got to know to where independent and self-respectable.. but in Jordan.. I never saw a man worthy enough… I just look around and see smokers, drinkers, bullies, fat people, greedy.

    what happened to the happy,self-caring,respected, hard-working people in Jordan I guess they leave out of the country… lol

    yes I actually accuse both sexes and accuse the entire society in Jordan. THEY DESERVE IT! because they HARVESTED IT..

    oh I almost forgot.. I heard a rumour around that once in Swefieh girls used to wear skirts, boys and bands became Goth and emo in Jordan and then the king made a restriction over this.. is that true?

    if so.. Jordan made a restriction preventing a society from doing a mistake.. and preventing society from learning from it and grow up further… Jordan needs an education system.. better than this so called elementary school of the 1800’s.

  125. haha, i came here by searching “apparment hunting in amman”
    Interesting to read.
    Very pronounced inferiority complexes if I may say.
    I hope we get modernized to the extent where my boyfriend of 2 years drops me off at home after a date with a cute little good night kiss without the neighbours thriving on seeing more evidence that i am a loose girl.
    i am a 26, unmarried, west ammani girl, wears tank tops and short skirts in the summer, and so are all my friends… there’s no 5 minutes sealing the deal…no random one night stands…non of this generalized idiocy, and my clothes are not an invitation, and who ever thinks so is a fool.
    i am at work now debating this matter with my male co-worker who is agreeing with how loose the morals are here nowadays, but i believe, that, as said in the original article, it’s exclusive to specific places, specific clubs…and if that’s what you seek then that’s what you’re going to get. What’s happening is a social phenomena. stop generalizing. stop objectifying women. and stop calling Jordan a shit hole. It’s an amazing country, it has good people, and not all are hopeless cases.

  126. You guys are talking about it this way.. and emphasizing on how weird it sounds and looks to you.. I’ve been away for more than 15 years.. just came back with all the intensions to settle here in my beloved home town.. Amman; can you even imagine how surprised.. rather shocked I was.. and still am…??!!

    I go to coffee shops and few restaurants around the university “uni of Jordan” that’s where I live and still familiar with to some extent; I happened to overhear few conversations between girls and guys as well.. but I was shocked the most by what I heard from some considerable amount of girls and their outlooks of this subject… how things have changed tremendously.

    I had to see that for myself, so I did go out couple of times to see what’s going on.. and yes… all I have read here is true.. and even a lot more.

    I’m not sure what to think of that.. part of me says it’s their life.. it’s got nothing to do with me.. they free to do as they please as long as it dose not affect me in any way.. but on the other hand.. this exactly why I left where I was.. “Europe & Canada” … !! I came back for my old Jordan.. my old good ppl.. the proud ppl.. the serious “to a boring extent sometimes” ppl…. the very straight talkers and honest ppl… even the nosiness that we used to complain about.. I missed all that.

    Any way.. I don’t think anything I say here or any where else would make much of a difference.. I guess it’s an era we live where every thing.. everybody.. and everywhere is just the same.. and it’s basically what we choose to be and think for ourselves…

    And I choose to be the old Jordanian type… Proud of it … and always will be.

    M.Bader

  127. Ah… One last thing.. just in case if you’re wondering..
    I was searching the used cars websites .. and some how the search engine brought me here.. I’m not exactly sure how.. but I’m glad it did.. lol

    wish me luck with my search for a second hand car online… ;)

  128. Frankly i am very much impressed that someone has the urge to speak out about this crazy ” Sex Revolution” in Jordan especially among young ages ” 18 to 26″ . I am sure this generation has been exposed to International Media or through the internet without any barriers or firewalls if u like.

    Its so sad and scary indeed to witness these things happening in the streets in the day light .
    I was parking my car one day just in front of my office building in down town and while ajusting a more convenient parking style , a women just opened the car door and sat next to me , and quickly asked me to drive on ……..Yes prostitution can be a permissable cultural act in a sociaty but it never has the nerve to impose itself on sociaty . Having complained to my group of friends of the incident i was even more chocked to hear that many of their relatives or friends had the same incident.

    Yes i am sorry to say , if we are witnessing a new revolution for a new sociaty and modern life , that has not accompanied with any social security or health secuirty or anything of that sort. The unlucky ones will go as far as anything just to get bread on table .

    Yes its better to look at the whole picture and not the small part of it.. Young beautiful girls are going out to hunt for rich guys to at least secure a comfortable life for the future….Others go as far as u can imagine to do that.

    The story continues ………..but i never felt the urge to immigrate to the West more now than any other time of my life.

  129. Hi All,

    It is indeed an interesting subject that can take a long debate. It is true that there is a big chance in the social sturcture and in the behavior of the young people in Amman. I am Jordanian but I have never lived here, I only come on vacations, and I have been coming at least a couple of times a year for the past 15 years or so. Year after year, I can realize the change.

    It is true that some guys will lie about certain stories, make up stories, or sometimes just spice it up to make it attractive. I am in no way an aggressive guy who would make all kind of moves on a girl, but I have the personality, education, language to carry on a long conversation about so many subjects. What I have experienced through the years is something no one can deny, “sexual relationships” are becoming more acceptable in this town. I do not know if we should call this a sexual revolution, or an ideological change. You can see from the comment that ‘Educated, and beautiful” has made, she wants her boy friend to be able to drop her off, kiss her good night, and for people to accept it. I will not argue about the right/wrong aspect of it, but I am just making the point that people have changed in the way they think, and what was a Taboo few years ago, is ok now. Would this girl who wants a kiss, have a one night stand? ?I would assure you the answer is no!! But would she want to have a pre-marriage sex with her 2 years boy friend? I would assume maybe she is cool with it, why not at the end of the day!

    I would not want to sound like a super star, but my exprience so far tells me that if you live outside Jordan, speak good english, and have a good social status, you have more chances of having random relationships. It is never a 2 min deal unless it is a paid service. But I have experienced it to be as low as few hours, and it happenned in Al Nai, which was suppose to be a place to meet good and cool young people.

    Bottom line is, Sex is happenning, it is expanding, and it is becoming socially acceptable. It is not magnified yet, but it will be within 5 to 10 years. At the end of the dat, the only reason people do not have pre marriage sex is the religious values, so if that is ignored, why on earth would you leave such a joy!!

  130. REGARDING: Lahassan, Pieces23, and GOjo

    Hello. I knew Meriam. I worked at the UN in Amman and she provided cleaning service to our building. She was always polite and honest and even took less than we wanted to pay her for working so hard cleaning offices. Actually she sent all her money home to her husband for her kids so they could better their lives. Our younger collegues were out at the clubs all the time and asked many girls about finding her because she was a very pretty girl but they all said they didnt know her or if they did that she never went out but stayed at home instead. She had a very good reputation in the city at the places she worked and the people that knew her well including her Dr, and other professionals. She had the highest ethics and always behavied in the most appropriate manner. She was well respected among her peers. There was another crowd of Filipinas that hung around the clubs. These girls were a different story and everyone knew who they were and all about them. Actually the men would laugh at them in the office and pass around their names and photos. Those women had no dignity or self respect. It was a shame. No one could ever say that about Meriam unless it was a personal attack. If that is the case then thats very sad and they didnt know her like we did. Maybe they are just jealous and miserable in their own godless lives. I dont know.

    God bless Black Iris. Thank you for the forum. Salam.

  131. Ohhhh, it really hurts to see it happening in Amman, I lived in Saudi and now US but still I see it happening everywhere, Jordan is really small coutry, ZERO resources not even drinking water.
    Jordan pressured with social,economic strategic crisis only Allah may save Jordan.

    well I visited jordan fews weeks ago and definitly left jordan sad and dissapointed and felt that I am stranger, but I decided to buy graveyard lot part of Alhashmiah Cemetry so when I or one of my very small family die to buried all together in jordanian soil.

    I will always pary for Jordan may Allah Bless it’s land, water and the skies and provide us with
    his mercy and lights to awaken our hearts to love Jordan like we love our mothers.

  132. Jordan has become the dump of the Middle East, and by dump I do not mean to be disrespectful and say its a trash can, but it’s where all the refugees from any war in the Middle East, flock to. I am not talking about the Palestinians who came in the 50’s and 60’s, but more so about the refugees of the Gulf War in the late 80’s early 90’s, the Iraqis who just recently came, along with the Lebanese who came as well. The Jordanian people have welcomed them in with open arms, and treated them all as citizens of the kingdom (Regardless of anything anyone else says). Because of this there’s a clash of so many different cultures and people.
    -For one, the people who came during the Gulf War, they brought the superficial, materialistic culture of the Kuwait. They opened the eyes of simple Jordanians to more. In the 70’s in Jordan, regardless of you’re social status and class, people were always unified and were living up to the same standards. Those who came from the Gulf made the people feel like they are missing out because they are not splurging on all these ridiculous materialistic items. They brought a very superficial mindset to the country that did not exist previously.
    – Jordan used to be known as a country where Christians and Muslims lived equally, and never had any differences among them except their actual religious practices. Jordanian Christians were always believed to be the most conservative of all Arab Christians. Their daughters always dressed conservatively, drinking was not something that was done in excess but more so just to enjoy, and sex was definitly something left for marriage. So anyone that wants to say that this is something that has to do with religion it does not.
    – Prostitutes, bars, and clubs have always existed in Jordan, yes maybe not to the same extent that it exists now, but you have to blame technology for that, the fact that everything is so much more readily accessible nowadays. Also if someone is looking for that in any country he/she will find it. If you want to find moderate people,and conservatives you will find them all.

  133. -Another thing to keep in mind is that with the Iraqi’s coming to Jordan, and the Jordanians/Palestinians who lived outside of Jordan and came back wealthy, they all want to invest. They want to make money out of any type of venue that they know will sell to the people. Regardless if it fits the cultural/moral/religious standards of the people.
    – Plus with the arrival of these “mughtarebeen” those people became accommodated to the western cultures that they lived in, and have opened up to other lifestyles and viewpoints. Many of them bringing these mindsets back to Jordan with them.

    Also, I really despise when people blame Western Amman, for all of Jordan’s problems. Just because they are more wealthy does not always mean they are more corrupt. Yes, some people do get out of hand when they acquire too much money but you can not apply that to everyone. Most of the out of wedlock pregnancies occur in the poorer areas, most of the drug use occurs in the poorer areas as well.

    Finally, for anyone to say that this is a sexual revolution, he/she is wrong. Jordan is undergoing a huge shock in the economy, it is trying to accommodate more people that its capable of having, and society is unfortunately the one that has to pay for this. If one wants to blame anything in the country it can solely be blamed on politics.

  134. Very interesting article, I been living in Amman for so little that I cannot say if things “have changed much” of course, but would like to share my experience.. I find that sexual frustration is very evident in the streets (ofAmman at least)… I often feel harrassed by men who look at me up and down and as if they could eat me with their eyes (that’s when hijab would come handy), it is really uncomfortable.. One thing that I found most interesting in the comments is that many people think the West is all about sex and drugs etc.. I was raised in the States and not of Arab desent, not religious, and I always knew that sex and drugs are somewhat taboo, or experienced privately.. Many people who engage in premarital sex do it for many reasons, many still condemn it in the West!!! Many feel guilty about their sexuality, many suffer a lot because they can’t be open about their sexuality (eg. gays/lebians/transexuals) Sex is human not evil/Western phenomenon I think. If only we could figure out why is there much interest in control of sexual behavior (around the world). By nature we (females) have a hidden estrus thanks to bipedalism, and yes as someone mentioned above females developed this in order to retain a male companion long enough to raise a “fit” offspring (millions of years ago). Now we have developed this confusing complex societies with the rise of population (worldwide). Social stratification and politics has made our world somewhat “divided” and humans (and ecosystems) SUFFER because of our reality (huge population).. Now, what role does sex play in our existence anymore? It’s not to populate (i dont think, we’re so many) By nature (i believe) we use sex (as many other primates do, like bonobos) to reenforce ties and enable attachment. In commonly used words.. for love, to express it and to regain attachment with their mate. What are we doing when we have sex without love,, for fun? or because all the cultural aspects in society are forcing us to do so? What is it so fun about sex without love? In my experience sex with no strings attached is a relief to sexual frustration, emotional neediness, and rebellion against social rules for a quick fix of feeling powerful with a left-over feeling of emptiness and (once back to reality {social rules}) guilt. Sex can be a very powerful tool too, especially for women (where are the male prostitutes?!), that’s how we evolved and that’s why there’s a great tendency for humans to engage in monogamy (of course polygyny is widely practiced but tends to be functional and practiced for socio-economic reasons, sometimes just for love). Since it’s impossible to generalize and have a right answer, we must tackle things at the individual level to understand our behavior. Maybe ask oneself, why is my sexual behavior important and what role it plays in my life, my religion, my family, my ego, my feelings, my community (?). Then ask why is anyone’s/everyone’s sexual behavior important. What about privacy? Is it an important part of Ammani culture? or not having it functional/important somehow? Maybe bragging is a way to resist engaging in sexual activity by just talking about it, thus functional and maintaining the social “norm?” Many questions….. sigh.. I love Jordan.

  135. Great blog. Great contributions. I thought I would add my perspective and thoughts as well.

    I lived in Amman for 2 years and spent a lot of time traveling around the country. Although I am not Jordanian, I think I was there long enough to get a little understanding of the country at least enough to post my opinion.

    Its true that there are young people in the city and a variety of behavioral ideas regarding the way they treat the opposite sex. But lets be reminded, they are young people and not unlike any others around the world. I have lived in several countries for exended periods and have visited a dozen more. One thing I can say about Jordan is that there is an overwhelming sense of respect that Jordanians have for not only eachother, but visitors to their country as well. It says alot about the inner core of each persons belief system, and for that, I over mutual respect. In other places around the world people often display behavior that is despicable and not consistent with a person that actually respects their family, country, and ther God above all. Clearly, Jordan does not have this problem. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule and those that test society’s boundries. But on the grand scale Jordan is a place where you can travel to that offers not only an incredible history, but a warm reception from it’s citizenry.

    Regardless of negative comments on this blog, I will always hold Jordan close to my heart and consider it a second home.

    God Bless. Salam
    Joseph

  136. I HOPE SOME DAY YOU FIND THE LIGHT AND FOLLOW JESUS CHRIST THE SON OF GOD AND HE WILL SET YOU FREE .FOR WHO BELIVE IN HIM AND FOLLOW HIM WILL NEVER DIE IN THE SPIRT AMEN.

  137. This artical was about Amman and how society has changed in regards to the relationship, sex and the public awareness of these changes. Why you felt you need to bring Jesus into this is beyond me. But let me reply to that in Saying that It is God you need to find as he is the light. Jesus is a prophet…he is not GOD. If he was GOD then why is it he talks to GOD “Father how can thy forsake thee” RJ ask your self if his is GOD why is he talking to himself. GOD would not let Abraham sacrifice his son….but GOD was willing to Sacrific Jesus the miracle he created.

  138. Growing up in NY and seeing all this different kinds of people from different backgrounds and lifestyles. I said to myself If I have kids one day I wouldn’t want them to see the kind of things I saw. Then when I arrive here in Amman I saw the same things I just can’t believe it I lot of skeletone in the closet. DRUGS<CRIMES<SEX to name it, under cover.

  139. WOW great article, just for the record I wrote nightlife in Amman to find some nightclubs and this was the first hit lol….

    Anyways, great article and intense responses. I obviously did not read everything, but I had my share. One response was blaming the Palestinians and Iraqis who came in 1990s and 2000s, I kind of disagree. There is nothing wrong with opening the eyes of Amman residents to life, if it was not for them. Amman would have been an ordinary city. It is the main city in Jordan and should become globalised. This talk about Amman people being simple and those “materialisitic” refugees is a bunch of crap. Materialism exists everywhere. Another thing if you look at AMman in 1985 and Amman in 1995, you would be proud of the change. If it was not for those people, the change would not have been that drastic, same applies for the 2000s.

    As a reply for this topic, It is true that this is becoming WAY more common than before, and is increasing exponentially, I know someone who graduated from New English School back in 2003, he says that those things existed but on a smaller scale, much smaller.
    Now this trend is moving to East Amman and actually outside Amman, No one is to blame. It was bound to happen, it is the same in growing or developing countries. Our population now is getting close to 7 Million. Amman on its own is about 2 Million, if this does not happen then there is something wrong.

    I myself was engaged in a sexual relationship when I was 18, of course am not married, and it was in Amman. It was not very common to my friends. However, It did exist. If I were to give a ratio, I would say one guy between 2 or 3 guys has had sex before 20 in Amman (of ANY FORM: Vaginal, Anal, Oral…..)

    We should not fight this, all we should do is to educate our youth and by that I do not mean religion, I only mean Sexual Education.

    Cheers from a Jordanian in the US who lived most of his life in AMMAN, best city in the WORLD!

  140. انا لم اقرأ كل التعليقات …لأن معظم ما قراته كان شيئ مريض ومقزز

    كاننا في دولة اجنبية قذرة وليس في دولة عربية مسلمة محافظة

    حسب ما فهمت من كاتب المقال …(رغم انني لم اكمل قرائته لانني لا احب لا

    الكتابة ولا القراءة بالانجليزية)…1

    انه متضايق من تدهور اخلاقيات المجتمع ويستنكر انتشار الجنس المحرم

    بينما معظم الردود تبدوا وكانها لا تمانع هذا الانتشار (الجنسي) او هي

    فرحة لهذا التغير (السلبي) في اخلاق المجتمع (طبعا هم لا يعتبرونه سلبي)…1

    هذا يدل على انكم من ضمن هذه الفئة المنحرفة

    نسأل الله العافية

  141. Nas… what you said is absolutely true… Amman HAS changed overnight …Big time! almost everyone is Sexually active, guys..girls..teens…mothers and fathers (affairs) … sex is everywhere you go.. One-day-rent apartments, cars…clubs’ toilets for christ’s sake!! it’s everywhere..

    yes, the revolution has begun.. but you can’t stop it, because we all know that one day it will eventually happen,, and casual sex would become the norm, and it did.. bas el fare2 eno it happened fast…

    we can’t change it… but we can try and make things right… “Sex Ed” in schools… STD’s health awareness, testing for HIV should be free for all citizens..all this stuff, help those who are sexually active not to bring another miserable child with no parents to this world.

    I DISAGREE with all those who said Nas is speaking based on exaggerations, or people who Brag and BS.
    sex is available all around.. and yes it only takes one drink (no need for the dance), and a coupla sentences, and the deal is sealed…I’ve seen it with my own eyes..heck i even know girls who actually initiate the whole thing. I don’t judge or criticize them, I try and put some sense back to their heads! but it’s their lives… they’re free to do whatever they want.. they’re old-enough, mature women who know, hopefully, the consequences of their deeds… and it’s not just 2 or 3 girls that am talkin about… it’s a lot more.

    But unfortunately, you can do nothing about it…so live your life, let others live theirs the way they want and suffer the outcome of their wrongs…so enjoy the show Nas…. had el mawjoud… nothing’s gonna change….but I’m just glad that there’s someone else who still has clear sight to see how corrupt Amman has become..

    Thank you.

  142. hmmm, i am so surpised of the responses and that such an article exist , also not surprised of the subject, well logicaly…its a social development occuared on the habbits,traditions & mentality (either good or bad)… i think the cause is that ppl are getteing far from religion (also some economical & social factors), but on any how, the question is how to deal with it??

  143. many comments!!!!!!
    i guess all of you have been searched for “SEX IN AMMAN” but you like the subject
    o serto tetfalsafooo :)

  144. Dear All,

    Please be aware that “Amman” has become a Sex Club, girls who wants to get married finally are not involved in a sexual intercourse ( because there is a lot of sexual acts that does not force the girl to loose her virginity at last) so married guys who think they had married a virgin girl please think again “maybe you have married a virgin one but virgin with a twist with many many physical experience ) a girl once told me that “you guys don’t know what a girl has done before” and shes is correct there is no a certain way to know .
    a girl with physical experiences want at last get married, the difference between us and the west is :

    a western girl tells the guy who wants to marry her what sexual experiences she has been through .
    but a middle eastern one does not ( 3nna elbanat men ta7t la ta7et). (she wants “Mahir” “3oross” “shahar 3sal” after all the physical experiences she has been through she will not give one of the things mentioned above .
    so Jordanian girls wants the sex before marriage as she think she is free as much as the western girl.
    and she wants the traditions too ( mahir shabkeh 3ross zoj mokhless) .

    I have no words to say more .

  145. Naz..OMG every word u wrote was amazing ..I heard these stories while I was in the states ,but my husband insisted that me and my girls need to move to Amman. He brought us this summer. He wants them to learn to be more like “arab” girls are and learn the language …..but sorry to say me and my daughters are being shocked everyday with different things we see and hear..My girls speak arabic more then the arab girls here and know Islam . Men ,woman ,gilrs ,and boys have no respect . What you said about married and scarfed woman is so true.I found out first hand when guys or men try to talk to me like its ok(sad). It’s all about sex here. Sad really sad when you want to go out and really there’s no place to go. Even the mall here is a hook up place. I have no clue what to do and where to go here. WoW

  146. عشت في استراليا وجنوب شرق اسيا 8 سنوات وكان بعض الاصدقاء العائدين من زيارتهم لعمان يحدثنا عن ما جد في البلد, البعض صور الوضع وكأنه ضاحية الاضواء الحمراء في امستردام, الان صارلي عائد الى عمان 3 سنوات ولم ارى شيء مما قيل, واضح انك ترى ما تبحث عن رؤيته, ملاحظاتي الشخصية هي ان هناك تنامي واضح للفئة الملتزمة والمثقفة والمتدينه وهناك تنامي نوعي اكثر من كونه كمي لفئه ضاله وماجنه ولكنها لا تشكل نسبة تذكر من المجتمع ومن تجاربي الشخصية اغلب هذه الفئه مؤهلة للعودة الى جادة صوابها وبشكل عادة ما يكون متزمت بعد ان تدخل في الثلاثينات من العمر نصيحتى للاخوه القراء الابتعاد عن الخمر واماكنها واجتناب “خضراء الدمن” اي “حسناوات المزابل ” عندها سيكون من السهل عليك رؤية الامور على حفيفتها بفطرتك, الصواب صوابا والمنكر منكرا.. الحمد لله على نعمة الاسلام

  147. well its crazy but true you can get one night stand in jordan with normal girl for fun not for money
    i left jordan for 5 years that wasint there but when i came back i was so supprised of what jordan and sex life has become jordanian chick are welling to hook up with forns its the new thing you just have to find the right place and now girls they the one make the move on you if they like you so if you hot there no problem if you not will good luck you still forn
    enjoy it

  148. أنا ما ألاحظه هو أن التدين قد زاد في المجتمع الاردني أكثر بكثير من العقود السابقة

    فعدد الاخوات المحجبات و المنقبات هو الاغلبية و في تزايد مستمر

    أما هل هناك بنات يعشن حرية كاملة.؟ نعم، لكنهم قلة قليلة

  149. I am a girl who has been living in Australia since the age of 19. My fiance is Jordanian.
    I will remain a virgin till the day I marry him, through choice. I am not Muslim but in my heart this was the right thing to do. One of the reasons I love him so much was that he respected me and my choice. I hope that Jordanian men never lose those values for the sake of so called ‘modernisation’. Your country should be so proud of raising men of dignity and character. More power to them!

  150. hello every body,
    i’m actually embressed that we are being open and talking about such thing how ever to make the long story short from my personal experience i agree with the article writer in some points.

    i have been into night clubs since i was 20 and in few years of going there i didn’t really meet a jordanian chick 99% of the girls are working there and it should be a paid relation.

    prostitutions always around local chicks not in night clubs i dare any body to name one single area without a house that provide such serves how ever its hidden mostly and very hard to locate them and that was in the past.
    i left jordan in 2005 to KSA and as a celebrating thing my friends and i went to syria and because we are not syrians it was a peace of cake for us to find what we were looking for.

    during the last 7 years i travelled to several countries and always kept in touch threw the internet and some chat programms and i came to jordan on visits at least 4 times a year.

    and you might be surprised how many times i got lucky with local chicks after chatting with them for few weeks before i drop by to meet them in jordan and invite them to spend some decent time at my place.

    sadly in 95% of the cases i had to lie and pretend that this relation will lead us to marriage but i believe it’s not about money or about sexual needs it has something to do with marriage always and the way of getting married in this time so the girl have to do what she have to do and by the end of the day it’s not a career for them it will end up as soon as they get married.

    thanks in advance

  151. Theory suggests that by promoting Sex, Drugs, & Rok’nRoll, … you keep people away from the important issues. This isn’t the only sudden evolution though, satellite TV, especially Local and Regional also follow the same scheme, … distract the public away from the main issues.

    Now everyone can swim, … in several years, i doubt that many can float in a bath tub.

    I also doubt that the full meaning of this response will be received properly by people other than the hosts of this site.

    Long Live Jordan

  152. *me slaps everyone*

    WAKE UP FOLKS!

    Nas is so right about it! We’re facing a big problem here!
    Guys, just look around u, and u will see that each individual male knows like 10 chicks!
    One is his gf, the other is his intimate friend, and a girl he sleeps with, and that girl is his friend’s ex gf who used to sleep with! AS A RESULT. HE SLEEPS WITH THEM ALL!
    WHO ARE THOSE? MY SISTERS? YOUR SISTERS? Just think about it like this cus ive started thinkin about it for real and i changed big time!

    Well, am 25 year-old , and i slept with like 80’s girl or more over here in Amman! MAY ALLAH FORGIVE ME! n am not showing off or anything, its just the truth, but thanks Allah eni tobet w inhadet n am always asking for his forgiveness! and do u want to know what i meant by *GIRLS*? Well,, Normal girls , virgins , and not prostitutes n hooters!

    I still remember what a girl told me once *EMZA3NI W 5AYTNI* , *EFTA7NI HABIBI* and u know wut happens? i got her pregnant, but there was a medicine 7ata itnazel 4 sure!, w nazalat w it5ayatat and shes married with 2 kids now, her husband thinks that his wife is one of sabe3 shorafa2 macca! he knows nothing, and that’s how it goes nowadays! Its a new fation here in Jordan, 70% of Virgins in Jordan are not really virgins! 40% is doing anal sex, and 30% bet5ayato before getting married in 10 days! PS. I KNOW MANY DOCTORS WHO DO SUCH AN OPERATIONS , AND HEY LSN!! HURRY UP GIRLS BECAUSE THEY’RE DOING SALE! <=== HEH! IRONICALLY!

    OH YEAH! LETS NOT FORGET MARRIED PEOPLE TOO! WE HAVE SO MANY WOMEN THAT CHEATS ON THEIR HUSBAND WITH GUYS IN MY AGE AND VICE VERSA! IVE KNOWN SOME WOMAN BEFORE!

    SEX ANGER IS KILLING JORDANIAN PEOPLE! YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE WHAT AM SAYING BECAUSE I USED TO LIVE LIKE THAT! IT WAS MY SOCIETY!

    *cheers*

  153. Dear Mr. Naz,

    FYI, your aticle sucks. I live in Jordan and we go out and party like everyone else. We have never seen or experienced any of the stupid things your talking about. You can do do 10000000000000 things in Amman, but I am sure the author of this article’s surroundings are the lowest and chepest kind. You better get out more to some decent places and live a normal life instead of the filth you are tlaking about.

  154. hey people, actually am a male dentist, and many if what u said is some how out their to a little extent in our beloved society, hence sometimes i see some try (s) in my clinic, but i dont give a face to it,, not coz i dont like it, no i adore relations but not at my carrier place. but still this article is over exaggerating matters and issues.
    …… since like more than half of sexual relations is due to money (prostitution), and that is very normal in any society, and Jordan has the lowest numbers. you said Tlaá ali and Rabia and these places are full of foreigners so do the math.
    sorry Mr article writer u just over exaggerated things, just dont forget it is the city life, and Amman is big city so u cant cancel these things by any mean possible.
    to all people who saw this article dont forget that Jordan is a mix between native Jordanians and the Jordanians who have Palestinians origins both Muslims and Christians , and both are conservative, but still we have some extremes and that’s life.

  155. omg i just had stumbeld on this log totally by accident(i was googling for sex in amman), but god dammit you r right , but this is not a reveloution this is a disasterous social and moral degredation, bcz any social change like this must take at least 15 to 20 years in any normal commuinity, so i think what happens in amman is a direct result duo to our lack of identity either politically or cultrely, which lead the mass of our society – teenagers and young adults- to mimick what they see on tv or the internet, and this is how we got our two extremes :
    the first one was fascinated with the american lifestyle that he saw in the movies or tv series.
    while the second one was affected more by the crimes the west commits everyday on our behalf and he decides to reject anything that comes from them.
    in conculision i think that the (moderate) ppl will have to choose eventually and the two sides will collide and this will be the real disaster.

  156. when i was in my third year at the university of jordan i discovered the scope of this matter in jordan, i got depressed because i felt betrayed by my family, society, no one told me things where like that, and to be honest i searched for year for a reason to stop me from scoring, but i guess the only reason apart from the obvious sinful behavior, i found out that like this, it doesnt feel right, it feels like a lie, and the feeling of having sex with a girl, both virgins, both untouched, both married, is the best feeling in the world, and the only pure happiness u can feel i ur life

    thanks for the article man

  157. It depends on who you roll with and if you have your faith right.

    alotta morons and fags try to pretend to be somethin they are not by drinking and getting laid, imitating the west.you dont have to be uptight and closed minded but you should realize that you dont have to do all that shit to fit in. plus, why wud u wanna fit in with these sortsa crowds? my best advice. get the hell outta Jordan then. find yourself something to pursue. a great career, hobby. etc.work in jordan and save up. etc. most of those people do the things they do cuz they are LOST. and if you are doing goodness and refuse to roll like them, they suddenly begin to judge you. how ironic huh? in a muslim country too. but mostly has become populated with a buncha depressed sick fu**s. but there are so many good ppl in jordan too. just hard to find. point blank. Roll with those and ur good. God bless!

  158. First and foremost, this is a great post. Both my brother and I were very intrigued by this. We spent the first half of our lives in Riyadh, then moved to the US and have been living here since. We’re both at our prime adolescent ages (21 and 22, respectively.

    Both our families (mother’s side as well as father’s side) live in Amman, and like many other Jordanian families, we’re originally Palestinian. Plainly said, Amman has undergone a drastic change that people did not see coming. It’s interesting to see how many of the previous posts can clearly tell what kind of person you are and what your opinion is on this matter. Here is a list of what kind of person you could be based on various social ideologies:

    Ultra-Conservative (aka dumbass)
    Conservative
    Moderate Conservative
    Liberal Conservative
    Liberal
    Moderate Liberal
    Ultra-Liberal (aka dumbass)

    Personally, I would fall between Liberal and Moderate Liberal. One social ideology could not possible encompass all of your personal views in life.

    The fact of the matter is premarital sex is viewed as the “devil” in the Middle East; regardless of any sexual revolution that is going on, the majority will still see it this way. Personally, I’m not a fan of any extremity in the social-ideology spectrum –i.e. from being completely against any social progressions to being a fan of “trying” everything that’s new.

    How exactly does this all relate to the situation in Amman?

    Well, it’s simple. Both my brother and I started seeing very small, discreet changes in the way people were speaking, acting, and even dressing. One of our first observations was when we saw a girl wearing a see-through blouse (what we “Arabs” would call “Hafr”. I was still young (about 15; mind you, I’m only 22 now) and it really didn’t bother me as much as it should have but I could see the anger and disgust in my uncles face. We were outside a local bakery close to the University of Jordan and many of the old-fashioned, traditional men around were looking at here, and most definitely not in a sexual way. There were extremely disappointed. This is evidence that we Jordanians still have some sanity left in us. Many people will ask:

    –“What the **** is wrong with a girl wearing a see-through shirt? It’s her body; she can do whatever she wants with it!”

    [edited by administrator] All I know is its disgusting and degrading when you become a herpes-infested bitch. It’s not appealing to guys. What most people do not understand is the following: Westerners (what we like to call them) are not brought up, at least for the most part, with the same cultural foundations as Middle Easterners. For Arabs, especially the men, we keep a bubble over our sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, etc…, any female related to us. We have a sense of respect for them and do not want anyone to invade those boundaries. When we see another girl advertising her own body, we immediately go into protection mode and despise her. How would you like it if your sister was viewed as the neighborhood whore?

    Now many of you are reading this and thinking to yourselves, “this kids a faggot,” when in fact I’m not. I have sex, I drink, and go out and have a good time, but there are always boundaries. Never will I have a one night stand. Never will I pay for sex. Never will I marry a girl that has been drilled into so many times that she can no longer enjoy sex. As for the girl, I would expect her to hold me to the same standards. Now these are my own principles. For you [edited] out there that claim you can have a simple “2 minute” conversation with a girl and have her in bed by the end up of the night is just plain retarded, unless of course she’s a HO! Then in that case, you aren’t really doing anything special, I can get her into bed simply by buying her a Cosmo but I’d rather not. The $10 I save is worth more to be honest.

    NAS: the sexual-revolution that is going on in Jordan now is not new. I’m not sure how old you are, but I’m only 22 and I can tell you that I saw it coming more than 7 years ago. It’s appalling at how much outside influence can help revolutionize a nation. What Jordan is experiencing right now is what the US went through in the 1960s and 70s, except this happened almost “overnight.”

    There is really not much to do except to sit down and laugh at people that actually believe it’s attractive to act the way their acting. Many of them will tell you they don’t care what you say or what you believe, which doesn’t really matter. All I can tell you and to those who actually have what many people lack, which is self-respect and dignity, is to let those people continue to climb down the ladder of socio-economic status. And to those of you who argue we should allow such a revolution, I urge you to point out one respectable member of society who has ever acted or will every advocate something of the same par.

    Here is a summary in case some of you are confused:

    I’m not conservative; I would just rather “TRY” really hard to get into bed with a girl instead of having her flaunt her goods at me. In other words, don’t be a skank, it’s trashy.

    If you’re one of those people that enjoy sex so much as to degrade yourself in public, I urge you to do us all a favor and respect the majority of people around you. The last thing I want to do is walk around Sweifeih with my Teta and see a trashy skank. It’s embarrassing, not only for you, but for me.

    As for you Nas, wait until Amman hits what the Americans are experiencing now: the so-called “Lady Gaga” revolution. That should be interesting!

  159. I went this summer.2010 to visit my family in the West Bank with my very good friend who is a journalist…so he can see what is going on back home.
    We live in New York….after our visit to the West Bank… while in Amman my friend ask me if he can have a drink in Amman….he was dying for a drink after spending 2 weeks with my family with no drink at all…. (I do not drink my self)..so we took a taxi and asked him to take us to club where we can find alcoholic drink.
    He said that its not allowed in Amman…but Ill take you to this secret place…we agreed…
    when we got there..(it was an apartment with 2 big guys and 4 women who were almost naked)…the guys asked us if we want to have a drink and if we were interested in having sex….
    I left the place quickly with my friend…..I did not even say a world….they followed us outside…I was scared….I said if you do not leave us alone Ill call the police….
    they left us…
    after returning to the hotel..I called the police….they came pick us up and we took them there…because I could not remember the address…
    the arrested them after another 6 police cars has arrived…it was a prostitution house…
    I was really shock to see that…..
    anyway..sex does happen in Amman and a lot of it….
    I guess it was when I asked the Taxi driver for a place to have a drink….meant to him a place to have sex….(secret word)….it sad though….
    just the image of these 4 girls looking at us….they are sex slaves…..sad….

  160. What goes around comes around…….this is (or would be) the natural result of so much repression and blind religionism……the worst is still to come.

  161. the bloody thing is not that hard to analyze… i was born in Saudi Arabia, raised in Egypt and then came to Jordan, first 2 years in Zarqa and 6 years (till now) in Amman, so i have seen it all, what is happening right now “oversexuality” you may call it, or moral loosing or what the hells you wanna call it was inevitable to happen, in a culture where we look up to americans and western europeans and their ways of living, their ways of thinking, their ways of talking their ways of dressing, trust me it was inevitable, just like when we ruled the world they looked up to us and our ways and that was inevitable, i don’t think it’s good where we are right now, because the western world knows where that is and they are loving it, IF YOU WANT YOURSELF AND YOUR NATION TO BE EVER TAKEN SERIOUSLY, YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN IDENTITY OWN IT AND USE IT, you see let’s face it most youths here in jordan think about after the age of about 12 is SEX and they keep that up until they’re 18 (college material) and then 3 turns could be taken by them at that point:

    1- frustrated by the fact that they will never have sex, Extreme religious views AND/OR sick and wrong thoughts about women AND extreme masturbation habits.

    2- Open wide on the world of unisex either at school (like me) or as late as university, Extreme desire for women (maybe having sex maybe not) OR turns gay AND extreme masturbation habits.

    3- Just try to block that hole subject out of his system but still would love to have a girlfriend in college OR at least girls as friends AND/OR the desire to become very popular, graduates to an almost decent human being.

    and i think after any of these 3 turns he/she will come to a stagnation period (WORK and MARRIAGE) were they think things through and find out that they were wrong and that the right turn was right in front of them moderate religion THE religion “ISLAM” trust me they/you will if they were to ever find a way.

  162. What is wrong with having sex?!

    Isn’t it a normal behavior to have sex? After working in Saudi for a year and residing before that in America as a US citizen of Jordanian origin I will tell you this. Let the people do as they please as long as they don’t infringe on the rights of others. If they choose to have sex then so be it. On the other hand, if they choose to wear a full black dress with only eyes showing (ladies) then that is their choice. When one of these two groups starts infringing on the rights of the other group then that is what I call a problem. Thank god perhaps one thing that is left in Jordan without taxation or shipping charges is sex lol. God knows it is more expensive here than New York City and the salaries here not even enough to buy a car. What more can these people endure?

    From what I noticed here there is more sex than in America. The only difference is that we are not honest about it like everything else we do. Girls in hijab are filling furnished apartments yet we claim virtue. It is time to say what we want and do what we want and act normal. NO ONE WILL EVER RESPECT A COWARD DEAR PEOPLE. Sex or other things say what you believe in and so be it. You only live once and better not to live than live as a coward.

    Taxation is another thing that kills me in this country. We elect a parliament that is as worthless as a merchant’s word in this country. Useless bodies to warm seats and give crap. A tax law that kills the poor and mid income families and not a word for an alternative to help the masses and aid in deficit reduction. Particularly, a tax that can create jobs, reduce deficit and inflation, benefit low income families as well as improve infrastructure at the same time. A tax that is more acceptable in this society than any other that I’m surprised the Jordanian parliament did not consider so far.

    I’m talking about a Real Estate Zakat. An annual 2.5% (based on the price of real estate) tax on all unused or producing real estate during the year that includes land and housing. A simple drive in Amman we notice acres of abandoned lands that are worth millions yet they are simply an abandoned eye sore. The benefits of such a tax are as follows:

    1) Owners of these unused lands will develop the lands and make projects on to avoid this annual tax. This will create jobs, improve infrastructure and even make cites look more organized and developed.
    2) By creating more jobs the government earns more taxes from the added personal income as well as from the new projects.
    3) Reduction in inflation. There will be an excess supply of land and apartments for sale due to this tax. This in turn will reduce real estate prices and affect the general inflation level. More affordable housing for the poor and middle income families.
    4) The remaining unused real estate will be taxed helping in deficit reduction

    Sad to go into taxation and deviate but temporary frustration over a sad situation took over

  163. The question is
    is that only in amman ?
    all in the whole world?
    What do u say about UAE… that i’ve heard that the most city in the wold have bitches is Dubai
    and other joke says
    a russian bitch asked .. wat is ur wish .. she said to wear my panties

    so wat would u say about Europe and other sides of the world

  164. At Least in Amman Jordan Babies dont have babies as for the Rest of the world .Girl at the Age of 13 in USA and Europe start having intercourse relations and on their sweet 16 they move out of their parents home to have their own Babies without husbands ,,, the Question you need to ask your self Do you see these behavior in Jordan ???

    The Answer is No .

    The GF/BF in Jordan is not more than being together , Dinning Out , Watching Movie …etc some time with Certain Emotional Touch such as kissing …etc.

    Socially We still Better from Most Countries Mainly the Western Countries .

    So If You Dont Like Jordan , Then Find your self Other Country .

  165. There is one thing in Amman that you failed to mention, is that
    what GUYS love to do the most. 1 they love to brag about their sexual experiences which may or may not be true. usually 1% of the story is true..
    second thing, Jordanian guys are well known for the ” If he didnt get what he wanted whatever it is whether its dating her, sleeping with her or whatever” he would still talk shit about her because she said no, simply yeshel 3ardha. Happened with every girl i know at least once!

    And one night stands? really?? well yeah perhaps if you re talking about those cheap night clubs in Rabiyeh or Shemaisani with Iraqi chicks dancing around and head banging, then yeah perhaps because they re paying for it.
    But if you re talking about normal clubs with normal people who are there for the music, well allow me to say that this is just bunch of crap. I go to these places and not once have i left with a guy or any of my friends did… Perhaps it happens like once on a blue moon with a very lucky guy, but to generalize it and say it happens all the time.. Then i have to say you re wrong.

    Last thing, if you think that sex has become a very normal thing nowadays and a not very hush hush topic, then explain to me how come honor killings are still on the table???

  166. man the people who are having sex like you are saying are 1% of the population, maybe they lived there whole lives in western counties, i live in al rabyeh and i go clubbing,so im aware of this subject,its only kisses touching ,and maybeeeeee at the most anal sex,thats it !

  167. what do you expect when you drive all your attention on such a topic? this shit happens everywhere, and you can’t build your theory or whatever you call it based on a told stories, you didn’t seem that you lived a similar story, did you? were you invited to some guy’s apartment or something? or maybe those guys’ apartment (the ones that pay JOD 50 each), for god’s sake !!! there are many topics are worth to be discussed instead of such a very cheap topic which is being exadurated only to ruin our image as Arabs and Muslims. Cheers

  168. ما في بنت بالاردن اليوم عدادها عالزيرو ليش نضحك على بعض

  169. i am from Jordan but i live in the states. i visited Jordan in 2007 for four weeks . i did sleep with four girls. if you believe me you know the real Jordan, if you don`t believe me you don`t go out enough. sex in Jordan is as widespread as in America. be brave with the girls , tell them what you want and do not be shy…you will get them. this is for real. i will be in Jordan 2010 December.

  170. Wow ..
    This article was published in 7th of May 2007 .. last entry was in 13th of Oct. 2010 ..
    lol .. and now me @ 24th of Jan. 2011 …

    Well Amman changed a lot for sure … you can feel the true shuck when be in my shoes … usually I leave Amman for few years and then come back to notice a shift that should happen in 20 years time frame …

    The sad part is .. making friends is become harder .. in the old times making new friends was truly easy … now people becoming very idiotic … each person you talk to acts as if he or she knows it all .. lol

  171. I enjoyed reading the various feedback on this topic. There is no wrong or right answer here. What Jordan is experiencing is similar what other Arab countries went through or going through. In my opinion, this is a form of social and moral occupation by the west who for the past 50 or so years have been planning this. Islam as the fastest growing religion is a big threat to the west and to their financial interests in the region. Please do not take me wrong, I am not trying to politicize this social issue, but we would be naive if we ignored the root cause. Some of you mentioned suppression of individual sexualities because of the Islamic teachings. Where I may disagree is that we seem to blame the game, but not the players. Islam has been a way of life for many centuries and what experience now in the Arab and Muslim world s in terms of humiliation and loss of dignity and honor is attributed to the fact that we got away from these teachings that organizes all aspects of our lives. I do not deny that we all have sexual appetite and it may sound so good to have the ability to get laid when you want, but let us pose for a moment and think about the consequences of this. I am in no way saying we should not have separation of church and state, but the moral corruption we are enduring as a society will have a price someone has to bare. This is not a Muslim vs. Christian discussion, this is a social issue that may create far reaching impact on our youth. Just a thought!

  172. Live and let live!! First of all people change, societies change, not all of us really care about religion or culture! If you don’t wanna have sex then don’t, others do! Why do people think they have the rite to judge other people by their own standards! If you wanna pray go ahead knock yourself out no one is stopping you! I myself don’t believe in God and in Jordan we have freedom of religion and choice! But just because you don’t agree with what is going on , it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be there. Because some people don’t care about religion or hijab I oppose that 100% but who am I to judge women who wear it? But just like you don’t like being judged by other people’s standards then don’t judge others and let other people live the way they want! I believe religion is just another brainwashing method…

  173. i agree with you , how can we married in the furure ,, we will lost the trust betwen us and our woman ,, wake up … no one of us accpt that for his own wife ..
    thank your for your wanderfull subject …

  174. Hi Tee,
    Just i wanna comment on your last words “I believe religion is just another brainwashing method… “.
    you think that you are modern by saying “live and let others live” and then you said the above. brainwashing !!!!!!! this isnt accepted, if you dont have any standards control your life, there are others and many others have. you should be sorry of your say.

  175. I don’t know where you go, I go to hot shots and its hardly ever busy there, I find myself the only girl there at times and no pick up lines whatsoever. Maybe I’m just too damn intimidating for my own good hahaha! If you hear about Fettish clubs hit me up, i’m interested to see THAT!

  176. PLEASE READ TO END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    A very interesting dialogue! I have to agree with Koko # 169, when she said that we are having searching “Sex in Amman”! I admit I was. And if ANY denies this fact, he or she are lairing to themselves. Regardless of the fact that life styles in the ME have changed and Amman is no different, however, sex is here to stay! It is the way we go by it. I love sex more than average. And I still believe that you always find what you look for in any city!

    This dialogue has been going on since 2007. I was thinking that if it is so important to many and even more, how about if we all reunite in making a “Debate” about it?

    This would be a start of an interesting TV Series! Don’t you all agree? Sex being a taboo in our society due to religious reason, has been the reason for making it so bad to discuss!

    If any of you intellectual soles wish to have a forum on the subject, I will be happy to receive your wishes and organize a place, time that is suitable and agreeable and open the dialogue. I am not sure how this will evolve. But am sure many would love to meet, and hey, this may in-up being a great opportunity to make new friends and take from there!

    I am in Amman for a short time. I do however come and go.

    I may be contacted on o-rabi@hotmail.com

    You all have a great day. Omar

    You all have a great day. Omar

  177. COMMENT #50
    Sister Muslimah moved to Jordan from Canada.
    I feel your frestration.You are absolutely right.
    I was born and raised in Jordan then I immigrated to the US.
    I visit every few years and I noticed the change every time I visit, sadly the change is from good to bad to worse. It is easier to be a muslim in the US than in Jordan ,we have more relegious freedon here than in the land of Islam.
    I will not go back to live there for nothing.

  178. What is bad or condemnable about searching for “sex in Amman”? If you are in Amman alone, and need hugs, don’t know anybody, why not to search on the web?
    I understand that in an Islam country sex is not a subject of public discussion, I understand (though disagree) that prostitution is illegal, but I would never believe that there is no demand for erotic services, should it be massage or anything else. And, where there is a demand, there must be a supply as well, so there must be also in Amman.

  179. To my opinion, no one will be able to talk about any sexual revolution comparable to the western one as long as such a huge taboo will keep surrounding sexuality here, for that breaking this taboo can actually be considered the most meaningful change in the way western societies relate to sexuality.
    First and foremost, pulling the debate out of the religious and the moral spheres (take a look at the comments and notice just how often Allah is being involved in the matter… that, in itself, from a western perspective, is very edifying), then being able to adress the issue of the lack, if not, too often, the total absence of sex eductaion at school and inside the families, in the sense that this should be considered purely as a public health issue, in a dispassionate way.
    Here, only a very very few people feel free to talk about sexual behaviours among the young people, and it gets even worse whenever it comes to women and sexuality.
    I don’t really think that relations are getting more and more sexually based. Maybe is it more common to see people renting flats for a few hours (those ads in certain newspapers mentioning, you know, flats to rent “weekly, monthly or yearly”) when people would, before, simply settle for their car and a dark place (the airport road, to mention only that one). Well, this is true also that some people originating from the upper classes now start breaking the taboo of virginity. But for the rest, I don’t see any change significant enough to allow us to talk about any sexual revolution. Jordan, and the same goes for most of the arab world, still has a long way to go.
    But this article deserves praise at least for being there, opening a space for debate.

  180. Here’s my belated 2 cents.

    Growing up in Amman in the 70’s and the 80’s things were pretty fun and wild. Drinking parties, and yes people doing drugs and hooking up! There it is out, people were having a good time in Jordan since the swinging 60’s too.
    Then it stands to reason with the explosion of the population and the advent of the internet things have grown and increased in openness.
    Don’t forget that Drugs, booze, sex and any form of “entertainment” is available. People have sex and will do so. What does it say about a country when a parliamentarian (a woman) chastises the government and Parliament because there are a million bordellos? Tells you something doesn’t it?

    What I wish for is that people would just grow up!

    What goes on in peoples pants is of no concern of yours, if men and women want to play around let them, how is that going to affect you? (the You here is a general one to society).

    What I am against is the whole hypocrisy thing. Schools need to educate people on STD’s prevention and that sex has it undesirable consequences if you are not careful.

    Silence = Death.

  181. كن على حقيقتك ولى تبالي
    ارفع راسك في الاعالي
    لنك اردني يا ابن الغالي
    عش وحافظ على شرفك و دم المنوالي
    إدعو لي بالنجاح الله يوفقكم يا غوالي
    دام انك اردني وعربي قول وانا مالي وجع راسي من ورى هل موالي

    اختم بقولي للعرب والمسلمين الصالحين الغوالي إبعدو عن كيد المناجس والاصحابي
    حكمو عقولكم قبل البدء بل…….. معاصي
    نضرة
    فضحكت
    فغمزة
    فسلام
    فوقع في المعصية

  182. كن على حقيقتك ولى تبالي
    ارفع راسك في الاعالي
    لنك اردني يا ابن الغالي
    عش وحافظ على شرفك و دم المنوالي
    إدعو لي بالنجاح الله يوفقكم يا غوالي
    دام انك اردني وعربي قول وانا مالي وجع راسي من ورى هل موالي

    اختم بقولي للعرب والمسلمين الصالحين الغوالي إبعدو عن كيد المناجس والاصحابي
    حكمو عقولكم قبل البدء بل…….. معاصي
    نضرة
    فضحكت
    فغمزة
    فسلام
    فوقع في المعصية

  183. UMMMMMM, this is a very sensitive issue
    take me as an example :
    I’m 35 Yrs old guy
    i make over a thousand monthly , I’m still single I can’t afford marriage expenses especially that I had a bad exp and broke up with My fiance
    and i got alternatives and yes sex is very important at least twice a week
    what shall i do and those thousands of guys
    it’s not a sexual crises only it’s a financial issue as well
    I mean i can get the pleasure and the need without any commencement so why would i bare the hassle of marriage
    I’m so open and transparent here admitting my needs and of course the others.
    the subject is much bigger than u all think
    I’m not saying that i’m happy and satisfied with this life style
    and you don’t know what is the real divorce ratio in amman
    this is tearing and ruin families the core of our new social life and threatening future
    God bless Jordan
    ps: use condoms and stay safe

  184. Everyone just chill, what jordan is going through spain went through it like 30 years ago – yes there were extremes but now with so much work and the crisis hardly anyone has sex no more, i guess people are also just plain bored of it. The same will happen in jordan – after the huge sexual explosion there will be peace and a middle ground. INnshaalla !

  185. People aren’t having sex in public, or having orgies in front of private citizens.

    We always have to complain. At one point, we say women are hypocritical, acting so closed minded only to be ‘open’ behind closed doors. Now, men and women are being who they are, and that’s annoying you.

    The only reason sex is more ‘apparent’ here is because people’s actions control people’s perceptions, not the other way around. Now, if you fear what society would think, you become that fearful society. However; if you start a trend of being your own person, then slowly, that fearful society will accept you. People simply follow.

    So, sex being the norm here, is completely fine and it’s always been. Someone has finally decided to lead.

    Sex isn’t wrong.

  186. Let them be, malna w malhom, why are you upset?
    Let’s learn to respect all opinions and personalities no matter how different they are from ours.. stop judging people, they have their logic and you have yours.

  187. to be honest i dont see any harm in a “sexual revolution” as a matter of fact its a step forward. I think u should be busy writing much more important stuff. goooooooooooooo SEXY AMMAN!

  188. @Phoenix  email me , may be I will take u to places and drive u home safely . I can tuck u in bed too if u want ;) , welcome to the sex night life of Amman u just won ur ticket  “Mustafa agha just called u”

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