Hey! Leave Our Falafels Alone!

Give me a frickin break!!

Recent news reports from the Iraqi capital indicate that radical Islamists are launching a campaign to prohibit the sale of … falafel. Yes, you heard right, falafel.

While this is the sort of news you might expect to hear from a late night stand-up comedian on television, sadly, this is not a joke, and a number of falafel vendors who failed to heed the warnings have paid with their lives.

Several vendors of the popular deep-fried chickpea sandwich were told they had just two weeks to change their profession or face death. And indeed, several vendors where shot and killed simply for selling falafel sandwiches. The logic offered by the religious zealots – if there is any – in imposing this inane diktat on the people is that there were no falafels in the time of the Prophet Mohammed. (sidebar from Nas: this is about the part where I passed out)

Indeed there were no falafels in ancient Arabia. However, it might be worth pointing out to these same zealots – preferably with much tact – that in the days of the prophet there were no Kalashnikov automatic rifles with which to shoot those who did not follow orders. [source]

I’m literally at a loss for words. Never in my life have a I heard something so out-of-this-universe illogical, but to make matters worse people are actually being killed for it! For me personally, being oceans away from a good falafal sandwich, this gives new meaning to the phrase “I’m dying for a falafel sandwich”.

On the other hand, after reading this I thought to myself: it’s as if this was the surprising news that offered some quintessential evidence that these zelots were in fact loonies. It’s as if this was them crossing the line. As if pulling over a bus full of students and executing them in the streets wasn’t any indication.

I think this is one of the reasons Zarqawi was forced to go to Iraq: there’s no frickin way you’re convincing a Jordanian that “Hashem” is considered haram (a sin)!! They may take away our lives, but they’ll never take our falafel!

That’s it…I’m forming a falafel coalition of the willing.


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